What up, Bleeples! So, tonight's episode of the Real Housewives of New Jersey brought us some yuletide foolery as expected. I love Christmas, but I ain't never spent this long celebrating it. Every week now Melissa has uttered the phrase "It's Jesus' birthday". I am over it, Bravo. Move on.The Gorgas jumped ship quickly at the Guidice residence this week in favor of the Wakiles' house. One word: Eww. How can anyone stand to be around Kathy's husband that much?! His greasy-ness causes my stomach to purge itself. Melissa and Joe ran to Kathy's house and went on about how much they dislike Teresa and Joe again. We do this weekly. You either like them or you don't. Choose a side. Santy Clause definitely made his way by their house. The kids were delighted with toys and goodies, but no one got more than spoiled songstress Melissa. Her hubby brings her Louis Vuitton luggage. She lets it hit the floor. That's what she thinks about your gift Joe. He gives her blingy shoes. She moves right along. He gives her a rolex. She kinda liked it. Then, the piece de resistance, he gave her a studio. I guess he didn't get the memo that she CAN'T sing!! Her having a studio is like monkeys loving peanuts or elephants loving bananas...just ain't right?! Whatever. Merry Christmas, heifer!
Christmas with the Manzos and the Lauritas is eventful as usual. This is if your definition of eventful is lame. Chris makes a failed attempt at faking the kids out that Santa is outside with his jingle bells. Albert comes home extremely late and of course missed the big fantastic family dinner. He works so hard *inserts finger in mouth*. This is all great, but I want to fast forward to Christmas morning with Jacqueline and the gang. Everybody's opening gifts and being all happy. Then, Jacqie points out that Ashley didn't buy her or Chris (her stepfather) a gift. As a matter of fact, she hasn't bought a mother's day, father's day, birthday, or any other day gift in forever. When asked about that,Ashley lets us all know that she hasn't bought a gift because she spent money on fixing up her car. Her car?! You mean the one your stepfather bought for you?? Uh huh. This really highlights the level of selfishness and disdain this trick really has for those who take care of her. Bish would get a gift from me half past never...especially Christmas. We give to get 'round here. You lose.
Over at the Guidice household, Christmas gets a delayed start. Joe, the bitter don, doesn't want to get out of bed. My guess is that because they are broke he wasn't in a real rush to disappoint his kids on Christmas morning. Meanwhile, his wife is still knee deep in the pretend land of money trees and happy christmases. All the adorable little G kids run to the tree and see all of 5 gifts under the tree. Hell, they got 4 kids?! Ok, lemme stop judging. Christmas ain't about gifts right?? I wish somebody would explain that to the kid in me who would've wrecked the building at that pitiful sight. Anyway, the kids still seemed to enjoy their Christmas. Tre gave her hubby a dog tag or something. Couldn't have been more than $10. Probably the kind of gift Joe was trying to avoid. Of course, Tre brings up her brother leaving the night before. I really wish they would both just grow up and realize that nobody cares about this foolisness...not even THEM?! Drop it.
Lastly, we caught a glimpse of the mighty Manzos doing a lil schmoozing of their own. I thought everybody bowed to them. Enter Christie Brinkley and Alexa Ray Joel. Ever wanna humble the Manzos? Sit them at the table with these ladies. We watched endlessly as Albie nervously twitched about at the sight of potential love interest. Caroline practically groveled at the chick's feet. I never woulda guessed it. She is desperate to have this girl in her family. Um, I hate to be the one to do this but uh...while Caroline went on about how Alexa Ray's got it together and would be great for Albie....isn't she the one who tried to off herself? Albie has a learning disability and got kicked out of law school. They are both clearly unstable and would not be good for each other...whether Caroline likes it or not. What the hell do I know though, right?! This probably ain't the last of the Joels...we'll see if I'm right.
I can't talk much about Kathy's family because I don't really care for them. I think Ashley could learn a thing or two from Kathy's kids on the art of gift giving and not being a selfish brat. But, I would like to know how much money they're getting a month in allowance. And, I would like to know how getting their mom a laptop is going to boost her catering business. If you have any answers, please share. 'Til next time...
xoxo, Christina Rose
(Photo Source: http://www.bravotv.com/)
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