Hi, Bleeple!! Christina here with the latest on everybody's favorite housewives (or at least for right now)! The Real Housewives of New Jersey are among the liveliest of the Andy Cohen franchise. From the table flipping to the family feuds, there is always something a'brewin. This season they've added some new faces to play with Caroline Manzo, Jacqueline Laurita, and Theresa Guidice (Jew-duh-chea??). These ladies, Melissa Gorga and Kathy Wakile, add something to the show. Just not sure exactly what that is. At least with Danielle Staub and Dina Manzo, ya knew what you were getting.
Melissa is the beautiful, sexy housewife with that all too exclusive talent of singing....well, thank God beauty is in the eye of the beholder. From where I'm standing, I behold Snooki a hundred pounds lighter yet Orange as ever. And as for her talent, I've heard homeless women on the DC metro sing better. This week she had a set of producers and music professionals visit her home to showcase her talent. They told her she was talented, but if looks could kill, their faces sentenced her "Display" chops to death. Meanwhile, her very supportive hubby Joe promised to build her a studio into his overly designed house as to give her what she wants while keeping her at home to care for his kids. Yeah, perhaps the property value of their house will serve as the consolation prize for the career she will NEVER have. On to the next....
Caroline's family is full of wackiness and whimsy. Christmas time with the Manzos couldn't be anything but....except for Lauren (Caroline's daughter) and all the complaining she's doing. She's jealous of how close her brothers have gotten. Isn't that only natural since they live together?? Whatever. Quit your whining! Caroline nipped that in the bud quickly.
We also got a rare glimpse at the corpse Bravo refers to as Kim G (also known as Kim Granny-tau). She gets a visit by our own Jacqueline who stops by for a visit and then tells Kim G to shut the f*** up the whole time she's there. And Kim G just takes it! Are you kidding me?? Sure, Kim G is full of drama and foolishness, but you DID go to her house....IJS. SN: Kim G is actually offended that someone called her old. Er, ok. That said, I must move on.
Over in the Laurita house, Jacqueline plans a family/friends Christmas shindig. She's invited everyone including Theresa AND Melissa. Everybody knows those two are always on the outs even when they aren't. Ashley (Jacqie's daughter) informed us that her mom is a drama whore who is constantly looking for drama to meddle in. I never got that vibe from Jacqie until now. Being friends with Danielle Staub wasn't a red flag for me....but trying to be cool with Melissa is. She is the queen of irritating. Blech....
And Theresa?? Of course she and juicy Joe showed up to the Laurita residence with jingle bells and whistles on...that translates into Versace furs and 4 inch Louboutins. She's the flyest bankruptcy candidate I've ever seen. What about you? Everybody I know that went into bankruptcy couldn't even afford skats from Wally World. But, what do I know anyway...She and her little husband talked on and on about their looming court case against someone whom they clearly owe money to. I'm sure there were many more, but these daring individuals had the nerve to demand theirs. In addition to money talk, there were also silent olympic games afoot between Tre and Melissa on who could be the loudest, crudest, most scantily dressed, and so on....I might say mean things about her, but in the end I'm Team Tre so obviously, Theresa wins gold!!
Kathy is what reality bloggers like myself would call a filler...thus, she gets only one comment. Actually, I think its Albert Manzo who deserves the credit for making Kathy relevant this week. He killed her dreams softly when he laughed in her face when she expressed interest in opening a restaurant. Classic!!!!
Until next time guys!
xoxo, Christina Rose
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