The Real Housewives of New Jersey continued this week with the epic battle that rages on between Teresa and Kim G. Lemme take this time to also note that Kim G is not even a cast member...Christmas time in Franklin Lakes is not only colorful. It's dangerous!
Last Week, Melissa & Joe were busy kicking Monica Chacon out of their party while Kim G put up a fuss. This week, we see Monica shuffling on out the door while her beloved friend Kim watched the door closed. Forgive me, but isn't it protocol if not courteous to leave with your guest if he or she is getting put out?! Well, shame on Kim for not doing that, but then again what else could we expect from a low life duck face like her?
They go on with the party as Jacqueline flaunts the power of family with Teresa and Caroline in front of Kim G. Joe Gorga is being his usual self and sandwiched betwixt several ladies bosoms. Then, we catch Albert Manzo slide into the party all fashionably late. That's when things turn up a bit...Was I the only one thinking how incredibly mafioso for him to come in so smoothly and Joe Gorga's already up his ass and fixing him a glass of "the best wine we got" before he's in the door completely. I've never known thugs in the 'hood to kiss their boy's hand when they enter a room...Yep, only Scarface n'em. Anyway, Caroline decided she didn't like Kim G's behavior and would confront her on it. 2 seconds in her goon sons swoop in and usher Kim outta there like she was in a mosh pit. As if it weren't mob enough to throw someone out of someone else's house, they also kicked her bodyguard out too. But that shocking thing for me is that after throwing Kim out, Chris cried?! Only mobsters can cry and not have the street cred card revoked. He cried because he manhandled his best friend's ma for God's sake! No words could describe how entertained I was.
Meanwhile, our resident filler, Kathy, served her purpose. Actually, her mom and sister were the real entertainment. Not only did we learn about Teresa's family history, we also got a good lesson on how to make nasty Christmas food. Those food balls on the table were barf-tastic. It was definitely a greasy Christmas! Rosie educated us on Teresa's dad's name...Giacinto (pronounced Ja-jinto?). Uh uh. We'll stick with Gino....coincidentally Melissa's son's name...and Gia, Teresa's daughter, is likely named for him as well. Aside from Rosie looking man-ified...I can find nothing else worth discussing in Kathy's world.
The Manzo/Laurita clan continue on their journey of taking over the world. Caroline's radio show seems to be taking off. People are actually calling in. Too bad most of them are people Caroline knows personally and probably says this crap to regularly. Her brother, Chris, also Jacqueline's hubby, called in for advice on making Ashley feel more included in the family. Here's some advice: stop buying her any and every thing she wants without earning it first. Start making her be responsible instead of asking. Let her find out the hard way. Caroline didn't give him anything...instead she just praised him for what he's done...yawn. But, later at their Christmas gathering, I loved the slapstick comedy a la the Manzo brothers. They roasted dear ol' Santa. Among all his other names, we can now add "classless bum" and "slave driver" to the list. They cited both the fact that Santa only works one day of the year and the fact that the elves are the ones making the toys to add to their slave driver point. I have to say, I agree. **shrug**
Finally, the Guidices were up to their usual of family fueding and uncomfortable gatherings. Teresa and Melissa are both guilty of making their kids wear some of the fluffiest clothes. Poor Audriana really did look like a cupcake (thanks, Lex!). And even though Milania is bad as hell, she is smart as a tack. She pointed out immediately that the sad excuse for Santa was indeed her "Nona" and not the real deal. In a word, FAIL. And in true Theresa fashion, she chastised Melissa for appropriate dressing as she walked around with only her butt cheeks covered. Double standard, much? Whateva, Tre! PS tell your hubby that before he goes on about how someone looks like a raccoon, he should prolly check on her Dwarf Certification. I think its time for a renewal. 'Til next time...
xoxo, Christina Rose
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