Hello, Hello, Hello, Beautiful Bleeple! It's time for a review on New Jersey's resident mob queens! This week's episode of the Real Housewives of New Jersey didn't disappoint.We begin with Melissa who we left off with last week shmoozing with the Manzos and Lauritas...and her hubby dabbling in drag wear AGAIN. Maybe its me, but funny or not, I think I'd take issue with my man dying to get into women's clothing all the time. But, alas. Christmas time means Christmas parties. Thus, Melissa plans her $50,000 birthday party for Jesus. Just a guess but Jesus will probably never care about nutcrackers, carolers, or roly poly servers. The Gorgas invited the whole town so you know that's a recipe for trouble...
Meanwhile, the Manzos are still going on about Lauren and her brother troubles. Caroline decides that for Christmas she and her husband will do something special for the kids. They designed bracelets with circular grommets on them that represent each member of the family. Excuse me while I take a long walk off a short plank. The bracelets cost almost $5,000 each and everybody including mommy and daddy Manzo get one. I could think of far better ways to spend 25K including giving it to say Rupert Murdoch or Richard Scrushy who would undoubtedly be more responsible with the money. Ahhh well...
Jacqueline celebrated her daughter Ashley's birthday by giving her a nice gift. She also decided to share with her that her dad was going to come for a visit until he got sick and couldn't anymore. Cue the tears. We hear fodder about how Ashley is torn between two families yada yada. Later, the whole family enjoys a birthday dinner fit for well just about anybody at what appears to be your neighborhood Stix restaurant. It was more like CJ's birthday than Ashley's.
Theresa and Joe Guidice are up to their usual. Spending money they don't have, talking about other people, and pretending they don't have a care in the world...PS did anybody peep little Milania slap Audriana in the face under the Christmas tree?? iDied.
Kathy ,who normally serves as filler, actually provided some entertainment this week. Albeit she was the butt of most the jokes, she and her greasy husband catch a break from me this week on the filler subject. On the way to Melissa's Jesus bash, she and her husband are dicussing the idea of running into Theresa there. They're both all "we'll be bigger people" and "I'll just say hello" and "she's my cousin, I love her" on us. Fast forward to the party, Kathy follows Theresa to the point of stalking and then got mad when Theresa got smart with her. Stalk someone else and see if you don't get the same response... After this, Kathy's husband tells her privately that he'll burn the building down if she wants.... Whoa kimusabi, when did it get this deep?? Needless to say, Kathy is shut down once again, and surely next week will be back in filler position.
Melissa's party went underway complete with carolers AND a DJ. Also, I can't go on without mentioning that not only is Melissa giving a great party, she's giving back to kids too. Every guest has to bring a gift for the kids at St. Joseph's Hospital. **barf** All the guests were enjoying themselves...well at least those who showed up in decent enough time to enjoy it. Theresa and Joe showed up to their family's party 2 hours late. Classy. But, they showed up in time to be harassed about money they owe another guest AND see Kim G(ranny-taw) show up with none other than Monica Chacon (a new Tre nemesis). Chaos ensued as Joe and Melissa asked their unexpected guest Monica to please leave. Kim G went on about how they shouldn't have to leave. Finally, Monica left. Next week, we get to see how Jesus' birthday party ends.... Big Ups to Danielle Staub, who we don't miss at all with all this foolishness goin on. 'Til next week, Bleeps.
xoxo, Christina Rose
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