Well bloves, it's time to discuss Miami's finest. Shaunie O'Neal has done an excellent job of picking the messiest, pettiest, golddigginest heffas this side of the Atlantic. Evelyn, Jennifer, Royce, Suzie, Tammi, and Meeka bring the drama this season. I will address Meeka Claxton first. I refer to her lovingly as "grease monkey" or "deep fried susta" , but honestly she really does remind me of Wesley Snipes' Too Wong Foo character Moxie ....I'm just sayin. She came in like a hurricane, already had her side chosen, and is dumb enough to come in guns blazin'. She's too greasy for words. Maybe I'll come back to her.
Royce defends her newest relationship with whoever this cat is she's dating now. I'll just say he is way better than that opportunistic little grub she was foolin' with last season. And forgive me for judging, but any man that can produce a fashion show and his name ain't Isaac Mizrahi or Michael Kors.....ok nevermind. Back to Royce...she is such a lost puppy--kind of like the one her newest boy toy bought her. Whatever she's talking about, she definitely gets cool points from me for getting with Evelyn win, lose, or draw style. Also, for future reference, mini golf is about as fun as getting your toes plucked.
Suzie aka Lilo N Stitch's big sister is being her usual self and trying to judge everyone else's life rather than live her own. Baby boo....that's why you ended up on the low end of the stick last year. She had the audacity to call Royce's BF thirsty. Really, Suzie?? I don't think Le Brontosaurus Rex needs to be talking about what anybody looks like.
Jennifer can be very 2D if you ask me. I mean it doesn't get more elementary school than to be worrying about the fact that your ex lives across the street. Who cares?! Certainly not his banana boat lipped lookin' ass. Thus, cut the crap and sign the friggin' paperwork. The divorce party situation? Only in times like these do you have bridal showers and divorce parties....Everybody celebrates everything. PS female strippers at your party, Jen? Skeeze much? Did you think about his stuff when you rode your ex-hubby's lips down the aisle? Ok ok, I'll simmer down.
As for Evelyn, leave it to her to find a gay sidekick (Noe) and be discussing how jealous everyone is of her fake relationship with Chad Ochosinkhole. Nobody is jealous of you Boo Boo! Your man can pick shoes better than you. He calls you fat and tells you regularly how bad you look. And Jen needs to remember that Evelyn made sure her relationship with Mr. Ed was over before conveniently getting engaged. She sets her friends up for the One Up. Anybody ever notice she NEVER has any customers in Dul-say or Dul-chea or whatever??
Head Honcho Shaunie sets up a trip to Italy...but then purposely leaves Royce. But you claim to be neutral though....not so much. Be Better Boo Boo. That's all I got.
I'm team Tammi all day. She is by far the realest of them all. She tells them skanks straight up how she feels and don't care what none of them think about it. If you can't tell, she and I hold the same regard (or lack thereof) for Meeka. She sniffed that parasite out immediately. And Tammi will kick an ass or two! I love how she called Meeka out for being so messy and always conveniently "forgetting" the things she says. Next week, we get to see the real deal on Jen and Evelyn's friendship. I've known all along that they weren't true friends, but Jen hasn't. Bloop Bloop!
xoxo, Christina Rose
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