12.29.2011

Boxing Ring, Yes! Wedding Ring, No!

Hey bleeps! What's really good in the neighborhood? Things aren't looking so good in NYC this week on LAHH. These hoes are definitely whilin....Now's as good a time as any to catch up on what's been going on with the Burrow Queens this season.
 
 
Emily is probably the saddest story line right now. Sad as in pathetic. So far, we saw Kimbella get her butt kicked for admitting to a relationship with Fab while Ms. Em was pregs at her independence party. Then, she called her little friend Teairra Mari in for um, support, I guess. This heffa ain't left. Dontcha just hate when certain invited guests never know when to leave? Plus, T. Mari is an attractive one hit wonder so who's to say she ain't been up under Fab too. Now, after what like 2 weeks separated from Ol' Snaggle Toof, this hoe admits to everybody that she and Fab are dating again. C'mon now! What were we celebrating your independence from??? It's just not a good look if ya ask me.
 
 
Somaya. Have you seen her?? Tell me, have you seen her? Last time we saw her, her fly was unzipped in front a room full of people. Guess vH1 didn't care too tough for that, cuz mamacita is a'missing! We'll miss you, Amazonga!
 
 
 
Olivia has been whining and crying all season with her wimpy bug faced manager. Why the tears? Her career is in the crapper and forever will be. Now, she's blaming her mama for the demise of her future defunct music career. When she was younger, her mom called her a hoe and would write her letters expressing her disgust with who Liv hangs out with, wore today, etc. Boo hoo, gal! We all had effed up mamas and no good daddies. Hit us again with another excuse. Since Somaya's not around, Liv hasn't had much room to hate. But, she still managed to give terrible advice to Ms. Kimbella. We'll discuss that more in a minute.
 
 
 
Yandy is doing her thing on the show this season. I haven't quite made my mind up about her yet. On the one hand, she's this business woman handling her many clients and getting things done. I respect that. On the other, every time she brings a guest to someone's gathering Kimbella gets beat up/some ish pops off. I can't respect that. That comes off as a bit messy to me. I feel like Yandy knows these people won't get along but expects them to anyway. She and Chrissy have had at least one run in this season. I gotta say, I'm on team Yandy with this one. Chrissy is a jealous, attention whore for the most part. She wants from the world what she gets from Jimmy. Yandy doth not equal Jimmy....and the rest of us neither.
 
 
Chrissy has been looking crazy all season. She's been pretending like she doesn't know Jim has no desire to marry her. Why buy the cow when he been getting this heiffer for free? I agree with Jimmy that its stupid. Jimmy is like those people that been stealing cable for years and then clams up when the cable company insists on box. Thus far, he's lost the ring, purchased a new car, started a clothing line, and so on. This time around, Chrissy has recruited her aunt Cookie and uncle Ralph as a last ditch effort to get Jimmy to finally see the errors of his dodgy ways. Jimmy's convo with uncle Ralph exposed some things we didn't know about Chrissy's background. Turns out auntie Cookie asked uncle Ralph's hand in marriage too. So, as my colleague Ms. Lexi says, Chrissy comes from a long line of begging women. LOL! We'll get to see next week if it worked.
 
 
 
Finally, Ms. Kimbella stays getting beat up somewhere. Ugh! On the season premiere, Chrissy put a hurting on that blond head. Now, a new latin mami, Erica, came in 38 hot on Kimby. Apparently, Erica and Kimby were competition for modeling/video gigs in Miami. According to E, chicks like Kimbella do "stuff" for free which depreciates the value of these models and makes it hard for women looking for a paycheck to get one. Uh, for some reason, I just don't think Kimby or none of her model cohorts depreciate the value of video hoeing....its already pretty low level. Just an observation. Anyway, Erica approached Yandy for management/representation. So, Yandy decided to try to incorporate her into the LAHH circle. Needless to say, it didn't go well. After exchanging words on Kimby's hoe quotient and Juelz's indiscretions, Kimby threw wine glasses and the hair pulling fest ensued! It was a mess baby. And if that wasn't bad enough, Erica called the police to a fight she started. Yep, I've made my decision on her.....No Bueno.
 
 
 
Next week, I predict Jim Jones is gonna propose to Chrissy. This would be nice, except she already did that. Unless he planned a surprise wedding, this goes into the "Same Sh*t, Different Day" file. 'Til then.....
xoxo, Christina Rose

12.21.2011

Real Drama for the Real Housewives, Again!!!

Hey Bleeples, welp, guess who's at it again?! You guessed it. Teresa and Joe Guidice just can't stay out of the spotlight...even if it is from the coppers!!! According to MSN's WonderWall, Joe has been indicted on fraud charges. See below...
 
 
 
"Joe Giudice, the husband of "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" star Teresa Giudice, was indicted by a New Jersey grand jury on Tuesday on charges of fraudulently obtaining a driver's license, authorities told NorthJersey.com."
 
 
Apparently, Joe impersonated his own brother, Pietro. No surprise that Tre's little boo is in trouble again. I mean, how else does he pay for his very expensive wife and those damn flowers she puts on their little cupcakes, Gia, Gabriella, Milania, and Audriana. I know we're sure to see this on next season's already action packed RHONJ. Can't wait!! More updates as it happens.....Wanna read more about the Guidices' legal troubles click the link below.
 
 
'Til next time....
xoxo, Christina Rose

12.19.2011

So, Here's The Deal.....

I DON'T LIKE THIS NEW HEFFA MARLO!! What is her problem? She just walked into the show and is claiming she's the "Atlanta elite", but we just met yo' ass! Calm down, bitch! She was silent during the past two episodes now she's just coming out with guns blazing. I guess I can't expect more from a woman with a CRIMINAL HISTORY who thinks God signs PAYCHECKS AND REFILLS BANK ACCOUNTS! C'mon, Marlo. That God answer might work with 60 year old women, but not with this target audience. We are just looking at you like a hoe that's gonna go to church every Sunday so she can start the week anew....with A NEW John. And did she really have to expose Kandi as a "Big Momma" when she's dating the purple thing from McDonald's?? Lame. I bet Marlo smells like coconut and shea butter. Yeah, that's the smell of ghetto, and I smell it when I see her on my TV screen. Since I caught that bitch's scent, expect me to write about her in the most negative way possible! LOL

This episode shed even more light on Sheree' insecurities. I think her anger at Phaedra comes from the fact that she's broke and is ignorant of the law, so she misconstrued Phaedra saying they would be fine as a way of saying the process would be easy. Like catching a baller, legal matters are a process, Sheree. I had to put that into words that gold-diggers could understand. Overall, I was glad Phaedra severed ties with Sheree and offered her names of lawyers she thinks would be good for her case. Give those lessons in class, Phaedra!

I am really confused as to how Bravo thinks Kim's new spinoff will be a success. I find that Kroy guy boring. Her kids are obviously jaded and looking for normalcy wherever they can find it. Kim's self-involved so much so that you wonder if she lives on this planet. And that house! OMG! It was awful! Donatella Versace would have even said "HELLL NAWWWW!" after seeing that shiteous decor!

Bottom line: Cynthia needs to leave Peter. He is killing that marriage just by being himself: an asshole. Who wants their wife to fail?? And when her event was a success, he left before it was over! Personally, I would not allow any man to treat me that way. Cynthia should pack up her stuff, ask for all the money back that she helped put into Uptown and Bar One, then take her ass back to NYC. That's where she wants to be, and I want her off TV. We would all win with you in the Big Apple, Cyn! LOL

THE HIGHLIGHT OF THE NIGHT: CYNTHIA'S PARTY! That's where the previously mentioned Marlo drama took place. The events there were crazzzzyyyyyy and hilarious! First of all, Kim really was cringing when Kandi and Marlo were using the term "Big Poppa" to describe a man who is a sugar daddy. LOL! I think every season Kim wants us to reprogram ourselves and forget whatever the hell she did during a previous season. How dumb! How could we not remember Big Poppa?? Bitch, you made him a mystery man! That creates intrigue. If you don't want your life out there, DON'T TALK ABOUT. So, on that note, you know I died when Kim said "I heard she sleeps with wealthy men and they buy her things....who does that?" PURE COMEDY!!! Kim even left the party because they kept talking about Big Poppa! That's okay, Kim. We'll let you get mad for now, but when you start calling Poppa back after Kroy's money just ain't cuttin' it, you have to shut the hell up and own what you are (a gold-digging homewrecker) ON-AIR! That's the only way this viewer will forgive you and your convenient amnesia.

Until next Sunday!!!

(Photo source: http://static.poponthepop.com/images/gallery/marlo-hampton-is-cute_530x332.png)

12.13.2011

You've Been Served!!!


Hey fellow reality addicts!! How are my bleeples?? This week's rundown of the Real Housewives of Atlanta will be short since we have a bonus episode coming on December 13th! Happy Birthday, NeNe Leakes, and ME!!! But anyway...on to the foolishness....
 
 
 
The title of this epp is "Three Wigs & a Baby" in honor of the arrival of Kim & Kroy's little red bundle of joy, KJ. We spent time with the duo acting all corny as they prepared to bring him into the world. Let the angels sing...
 
 
 
Phaedra found herself in court again representing one of her esteemed clients....Dave the drug dealer. Dave was late, poorly dressed, and lying outta his big round brown. But, because Phaedra is such a legal force (and brown noser) the judge showed leniency to Dave for possession of illegal substances and non-regulation tint on his pimp mobile. After court adjourned, Phaedra escorted her client to his car where he paid her in cash in the parking lot. Professional!!! Little girls could learn a thing or two from ATL's #1 Southern Belle.
 
 
 
NeNe and her sidekick, Cynthia Bailey-Thomas, skipped off to NYC for some business ventures. But, not before Mr. Thomas made sure to remind Cynthia that she can't be playing around up there with NeNe. He asserted to her to make that money. I'm believing more and more that he ain't into Cynt. He just wants her ends. We got to go down memory lane with Russell Simmons who admitted to dating Cynthia years ago. I don't know about y'all, but she don't seem like his type to me. *shrug* We also got to see NeNe's "business" date with a new gentleman she met through Donald Trump. I can't remember the guy's name. He isn't important because NeNe is clearly dating Peter. POW!!! It's a shame though because he bought her red bottoms and got Pavarotti's kid brother to sing her moose like arse a concerto.
 
 
 
Kandi's setting her mom up on a senior citizens version of match.com. Other than Mrs. Joyce being squeezed into that body magic, it was less than interesting....
 
 
 
She by Sheree's behind is still wrapped up on legal foolery with the Abominable Black Man aka Bob. She has asked every woman on the show, her mama, and the lady at the grocery store if she should put Bob in jail until he pays....their response?? HELL YES, dummy! It wasn't until Sheree's mom explained that she too had to take Sheree's dad to court for him to pay that she began to understand that it must be done. We even heard lil stories about how Sheree's no good daddy never bought her the Speak N' Spell she asked for....Here's a question: how come Sheree's mom never bought it? You knew the damn girl wanted it?! I'm just saying. On this week's bonus epp, we get to see why we shouldn't underestimate Bob or his pet eyeball. 'Til next time...


xoxo, Christina Rose

(Photo Source: http://www.realitywanted.com/newsitem/4920-the-real-housewives-of-atlanta-season-4-episode-6-recap)

12.10.2011

"Celebrity Apprentice" Might Be Getting GANGSTA!

This new season of "Celebrity Apprentice" is going to be nothing short of entertaining! The show has added two no-nonsense, Italian spitfires: Teresa Giudice and Victoria Gotti! OH, WAIT! It gets better! The two are rumored to have gotten into some sort of altercation while filming. On Wendy Williams' show last week, Victoria Gotti was very cryptic and refused to say if the cast member she had issues with was Teresa Giudice, but she didn't deny it either. In fact, she said that the person she had problems with was someone she thought she would have gotten along with. Wonder who that could be! *eye roll* She didn't stop there. Gotti went on to say that the altercation/argument/conflict that she had with a certain fellow cast member would put the Star Jones-NeNe Leakes argument to shame.

I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THIS!! If it is Teresa that Gotti is beefing with on the show, I wonder what Teresa told Juicy Joe..."Honey, I'm so nice! I just said hello and she flipped!" *Teresa voice* Hahahaha!

(Photo source: http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2009/news/091005/victoria-gotti-240.jpg)

12.07.2011

HOTlanta=HOT MESS!!


I am in awe of this week's "Real Housewives of Atlanta"! This is ridiculous! Cynthia can't read. Kandi is crying every two seconds. Peter is broke and letting his wife support him. But most of all, where did all of those ugly ass men come from? Charles Grant and Bob Whitfield look like big ass, overgrown, deformed crack babies! Is Bob cock-eyed?? Why are Charles' braids running from his forehead?? Inquiring minds wanna know!

I just had to put that out there before I actually discussed the show...lol....

First of all, Cynthia should never do anything related to public speaking! I completely understand where Phaedra was coming from when she said that. But at the event, did anyone peep how the guests were taken aback at the sight of Lawrence when he strolled in?! LMFAO!!

Sheree and Bob. There aren't enough words! Why is he so damn ugly?! She cannot say she didn't marry him for money. She dealt with ugly and thought her kids were her "insurance policy", but now she can't even get child support. Talk about wasting years of your life! LOL

Overall, I thought this episode was really boring, so let me get straight to the Charles Grant and NeNe rumored affair. It's obvious nothing happened between them. NeNe treats him like a woman who is scorned because she got rejected. So, I don't believe they were together. HOWEVER, she and Peter might have been together! LMAO! I'm not comfortable with their relationship. Cynthia better watch her man. Back to Charles: I find him to be an instigator. I don't understand why he would even care if NeNe greeted him or anyone else. Then, the fact that he pointed that out to everyone means he was trying to increase the tension in the room. I don't like when men act like little schoolgirls.

Highlight of the show: seeing that Peter's bar is in the ghetto and looks like a tacky living room at someone's house! LOL! He needed $40,000 for that mess of a space?! Those couches looked very Ikea, and I'm sure the rich people of Atlanta are not coming to a club on the wrong side of downtown. Stop reaching, Peter. Just sell beef patties on the side of the road. LMAO!

Anyway, guys, I'm sure I'll have more to say in my next post. Until then, get your child support and take cakes to everyone you've wronged! : D

(Photo source: http://entertainmentrundown.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/Nene-Leakes-Cynthia-Bailey-Marlo-Hampton-RHOA-Season-4-Viewing-Party-2-500x332.jpg)

Groupies and Girlfriends...Now, What Exactly Is the Difference In the Hip Hop world?


Well, well, well! The foolery gets worse, but thank the TV gods for it!

Let me begin by saying that as this show goes on, I dislike Chrissy more and more! What is she doing with her life besides worrying about what Jim is doing and pondering who she can fight next?? SHE'S SO POINTLESS! Somaya has a hustle. Olivia is working TO GET a hustle. Kimbella just shot a magazine cover. Yandy is a successful manager. Hell, even Emily does something. AND MAMA JONES IS HUSTLING AS WELL!!! I'm starting to think Chrissy is where she is in life, husbandless and careerless, because her priorities are all fucked up! It's beyond obvious that she is chasing a meal ticket with Jim, and she's probably been chasing "free rides" for a lonnnngggg time. Plus, she can't believe she can do Yandy's job! To manage, she would have to leave Jim's side. Bottom line: Chrissy, you have no class! If you went on this show to show the world how you are in your mid-30s and still try to get your 35 year-old man to "goon" for you every time someone does you wrong, you've succeeded.....but you look like JACKASS and are making him look like one as well. Turn down the ghetto, you freaking rat!

The Emily and Kimbella meeting was really hilarious! Kimbella, as much as I don't like her, is better than me! I would not still be apologizing to Emily. At least she's trying to make the situation better. Did anyone see how Emily was talking to her while standing behind her car door?? LMFAO! Emily had so much to say at Kimbella's party, but now she's making sure she has a car door between them so that she can jump in her car if it gets too real! LAME!

Also, I want Olivia to stop chasing deals. There's no way in hell that she could be an independent artist, either. So, she really just needs to give up on music and get that 9-5 Rich was referring to. Plus, who wants to be a recording artist but can't take criticism? That Wayne guy was trying to tell her that she needed to improve her image and be realistic about her chances of getting a deal, but that bitch took it negatively! Sidenote: Is anyone else noticing that she's still running around getting rejected, but Somaya has an investor?? I noticed.

And why is Jim Jones on TV crying so much?! I know he is not getting that worked up over that useless ass woman that he's with. His mom was wrong for the song, but I think Jim needs to ask Chrissy to apologize to her too. I find it hard to believe that they've been in a relationship that long, yet Chrissy and his mom can't get along because of one party's doing. It has to have been both of them for this crap to get to where it is today. Oh, and Mama Jones, please spell correctly!! PSYCHOTIC!

AND CAN I JUST SAY HOW MUCH I LOVE TEAIRRA MARI?!!? She's great! Can she join the cast?? She's been the only voice of reason in terms of the Emily/Kimbella situation.

AND JIM AND CHRISSY'S AWKWARD ASS DATE! Why was his back to her the whole time, except for that kiss? Oh, yes, he's so faithful! *eye roll*

HIGHLIGHT OF THE NIGHT: KIMBELLA'S HAIR CATCHING ON FIRE! ROTFLMAO!!!! She's so ditzy! She couldn't even react to her hair being on fire! Ahahahahahahahaha!

Can't wait for next week!!

(Photo source: http://cdn2-b.examiner.com/sites/default/files/styles/image_full_width_scaled/hash/6b/e4/6be4034ff442fd5e2ad31857a930e717.jpg)

12.06.2011

Teen Mom vs. the Kardashian Klan


Hey Bleeples!! You know I love to keep you up on the foolishness....the latest in the reality world is the Twitter battle between Teen Mom's Farrah Abraham and Kourtney Kardashian as reported by the Wonderwall on MSN. Farrah expressed disappointment in Kourtney's choice to get pregnant again. Her tweet??
 
 
"I'm shocked Kourtney Kardashian is pregnant again. Did she not learn anything from 'Teen Mom'?" Abraham, single mom to 2-year-old Sophia, oddly seethed in a Friday post on the microblogging site. "Maybe it's a fake pregnancy like Kim's wedding. SAD."
 
 
Does Farrah know Kourtney's not a teen?? Secondly, does Farrah also know that she couldn't last one round with Khloe?? I mean, honestly. If you've ever read previous posts on Reality, For Real! you know that I don't care for Farrah anyway. She is a definite contender for dumbest Teen Mom right up there with Jenelle, Amber, and Chelsea. It's a little late for advice now, but y'all know me. I'd suggest Farrah sit this one out.
 
 
Farrah went on to say that it doesn't matter your age or your financial background, and stated that those are the reasons for the double standards in this world. I would like to know exactly when Farrah thinks someone should become a mom and exactly what socioeconomic status she thinks they should be in. This girl need psychiatric help. If nothing else, just because she shows very, very poor judgement.
 
 
Weigh in, bleeps. 'Til next time....
xoxo, Christina Rose

12.04.2011

RHOA's Gone riDICulous!

What's good, bleeples?! In case you missed the latest episode of RHOA, I'm here to fill you in on all the gory, yes, gory details....
 
 
 
We'll begin with Papa Smurf aka Peter, who seems to have a really big chip on his shoulder this season. Cynthia decided that he and her sister, Mal, should discuss the incident at the wedding last season. Mal and their mom tried to withhold the marriage certificate at the ceremony to prevent the marriage from even happening. Watching Peter this season, I can totally see why. Peter is angry, broke, and selfish. Those are not the makings of a successful relationship. However, clearly the marriage did happen, but Peter is still mad. They went back and forth for awhile, but Cynthia came back and broke up the fight after she felt Mal had been abused enough.

It's Kandi's birthday, again. And in true Kandi Koated fashion, the ex-Xscape member is planning a Dirty Thirty party (even though, she's dirty thirty-FIVE). She, Phaedra, and Sheree met up and a nice outside venue to scope out the scene. They compared donkey booties and booked the venue! Phaedra mentioned to Sheree that she'd be bringing a nice surprise for Kandi's birthday present. More on that later...
 
 
 
Meanwhile, in Sheree's world, she is still building on Chateau Sheree. I swear I gotta figure out how to get that HUD hookup cuz Sheree has absolutely no monies. She and Phaedra took a trip to the job site because Sheree had expressed some concerns with her contractor and if he is completing the job in a timely manner. It's great to have a lawyer friend come out and threaten your hired help so conveniently!!
 
 
 
We got to share some time with NeNe. Derek J, NeNe, and Kandi went shoe shopping together. Derek and Kandi even showed up wearing almost exactly the same shoes.....They laughed and discussed style tips, but they also discussed Kim's baby shower. NeNe expressed to Kandi that she isn't surprised that she and Kim aren't really friends anymore. NeNe thinks that Kim was just out for a profit while Kandi was looking for a friend. NeNe also judged the fact that Kim is having a 3rd baby by a different father from her other kids. Wait!!!! Aren't both of NeNe's kids by different men?? She is notorious for judging people even though she is guilty of the same things. Pot meet kettle. Sit down, NeNe!!
 
 
 
We finally made it to Kandi's Dirty Thirty party which definitely did not disappoint. Mama Joyce, Lawrence, Derek J, all the housewives, and a slew of other important people showed up. It was like Europe vs. North America with NeNe ignoring Sheree and Phaedra the whole night, but the ladies had fun anyway. Lawrence showed up looking like Mr. T gone drag and livened up the party. Finally, Phaedra's suprise birthday gift was revealed. And boy was it riDICulous! No, literally. Ridiculous is a popular male exotic dancer who has the extraordinarily weird ability to pleasure himself. He shook and gyrated all over the birthday party, but it wasn't until he placed his johnson in his mouth in front of the crowd that things got crazy. Mama Joyce huffed and puffed all up in through the place and then all the way home. Many of Kandi's guests were disgusted and left including NeNe and Cynthia. Now, Cynthia I get. But again, NeNe is an ex-stripper so why is she spouting off how she can't stand them?? I wouldn't want to see a man do that either and I'm pretty sure that's a manlaw violation to put your own privates in your mouth, but I digress.
 
 
 
Next episode, we get to meet the newest housewife, Marlo, and hear about the drama already a'brewing between her and NeNe. 'Til then.....
 
 
xoxo, Christina Rose

12.01.2011

Hot Mess of the Week: LAHH's Olivia Longott

Come one, come all to see the greatest hater on Earth! Love & Hip Hop's Olivia Longott ain't mincing no words this season. Her target of choice? Somaya "Boss" Reece. These ladies have been baby beefing (fighting a lil' bit) since the 1st season of vH1's hit show. As we all know, Somaya is an up and comer in the hip hop game while Olivia is a self-proclaimed veteran. Olivia has worked with the likes of Clive Davis and 50 Cent. And, she makes sure to remind us of it repeatedly. After Somaya's rant on a popular hip hop website about making Olivia "relevant again", Olivia has not been able to stomach Somaya.
 
 
 
On this week's episode of LAHH, Somaya and Olivia met up. Somaya attempted to squash any of the drama between them. While discussing Somaya's recent talent showcase, Olivia expressed that she thinks Somaya is talentless and shouldn't be in the music biz at all. She also says that she and Somaya shouldn't even be mentioned in the same sentence because they are on two completely different levels. And, what would your level be Olivia? I'm gonna go with Loser for 200, Alex. Is this chick serious? Fact: Olivia has had at least 3 separate record deals. If I have my information correct, 50 cent and G-Unit are still relatively big names in hip hop. Clive Davis dropped her. 50 dropped her. Hell, even her parents dropped her from their house (where she's been living the past couple years). I agree with Olivia. She and Somaya are not on the same level. At least Somaya still has a chance in hell. Been watching American Idol lately? Talentless people win. I'm just saying. Furthermore, Somaya as flighty as she is, has a shoe line and made Olivia a personalized pair of shoes (see above). Do you know Olivia STILL didn't appreciate them? WTF does she want Somaya to do? She can't make Jive Records pay you boo boo. Just squash this ish so we can all get along and make Martin Luther King, Jr., Rodney King, and baby Jesus happy. Wanna hear more of Olivia's hateration? Check out this link and get it from the horse or whatever...http://blog.vh1.com/2011-11-29/olivia-defends-her-opinion-of-somaya-in-her-recap-of-love-and-hip-hop-episode-3/.
 
 
 
Til next time bleeps....
 
 
 
xoxo, Christina Rose