Let's all go to NEVERland...

Hey there, bleeps and bleepettes! It's been a long time coming, but here goes on this season of RHOA and the reunion show thus far.

It's official. NeNe Leakes is queen of the world....at least in her own head. This woman is consumed with self and mad at anybody that ain't her achieving anything. From the looks on her face to crossing her eyes on cue, anything Andy Cohen says to congratulate the other ladies on their ventures gets a response. Her best moment for me this season?? Dubbing Chateau Sheree as neverland....could NOT be more appropriate.

Sheree has been acting up and creating fake drama all season. First, she recruited Phaedra to help with her legal matters just to end up calling her a bad lawyer. Bob still ain't paying this heffa child support. By the looks of things, he won't be. Ah well!! Chateau Sheree never got off the ground. I mean that's all it is is GROUND!!! She claims the construction team misappropriated funds, but my guess is there were no funds to appropriate at all. Then, she tried throwing Kandi under the bus with the Africa trip by reporting back to Kim that Kandi called her a racist. That went extremely well. It ended with Kim and Kandi still being friends and Sheree looking the same stupid she always looks. Finally, she talked her oldest (and recently claimed) daughter right out of an engagement ring. I predict that being the final straw in Bravo's back and why Andy Cohen gave ol' girl the boot. At least if her daughter was getting married, she'd have a leg to stand on. Enough's enough. RIP to She by SherFAIL. *SN: did you hear she wrote a letter claiming she quit?? what a riot.*

Kandi is on fire this season. She's worked with Jo Dee Messina, created her own sex toy line, and obtained her own Bravo! show called the Kandi Factory. I'm not really feeling her show, but she seems to be getting a positive vibe from other viewers. She's been telling it like it is all season. I loved her telling Sheree off and getting Marlo together as well. Marlo is not an official housewife, and, thus, does not get her own paragraph, but I love how she walked right in and thought she'd fool us all into thinking she's hot stuff and NOT an escort. Bish boo bye!!!

Phaedra has proven herself to be a little more than I thought. So, I hate her less this season. She ain't all the way screwed too tight, but she's alright. Yep, I said it. I don't get the over the top christenings and such, but she's a smart cookie and doesn't entertain these women's antics. I love it.

Kim gets nothing. She's a money chasing, non-singing, hating ass, lying heffa. She is leasing, autotuning, staying pregnant, and sitting on Big Papa's furnishings. Straight UP!

The final installment of the reunion is this Sunday so tune in. Feel free to chime in. Until then....

xoxo, Christina Rose

(Photo Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/16/real-housewives-atlanta-reunion-nene-v-sheree-video_n_1427547.html)

It's Almost Over...

Hey Bloves! This season of RHOA is about to wrap up. And what a season it has been?! Or not. Was it me or was Atlanta a snooze? Other than Africa and Ri-DICK-ulous....I can't think of any one moment that was epic or made me sad that the season is over...Alas, let's discuss last week's epp shall we?

NeNe's gone hollywood. No surprise there. She's been showing up all over the tube from BET's The Game to Fox's Glee. Congratulations to her on that. However, I must address the comment she made regarding obtaining an Oscar. The day NeNe Leakes gets an Oscar is the day I stop respecting the Academy. Just sayin'. PS was it me or did that scene with Steve Harvey, his wife, and Keshia Knight-Pulliam seem a leetle staged? Ok. It was me I guess. Ms. NeNe is mulling over the idea of moving her son, Brent, to LA with her to pursue acting. I say leave that boy with his daddy. She'll be back soon enough.

Kandi isn't up to much. She's up to her usual with the sex toys. Her "Bedroom Kandi" line is well underway. Her signature "Happiness & Joy" and "Clit-stick" look to be winners...at least for Kandi....on to the next.

Phaedra was being her normal "funeral obsessed" self. She, Willie Watkins, and friends have become quite close. She completed one of her last training tasks on the show in which she assisted a grieving family with the final preparations for their home-going service. Good thing it was a mock family. Phaedra went a little overboard helping them choose caskets like people shop for cars. She invited the entire crew to her, I mean, Willie's event to make a special announcement. I don't think anyone was surprised or delighted to hear that she and Willie are going into business.

Kim and Cynthia's little lunch was cute. Not. I don't feel they resolved anything. They spent the entire time being nice nasty to one another and agreed to be fake from now on. Problem solved. In other news, Kim finally displayed the 10-carat rock her jock boo, Kroy, purchased her. To top that off she snuck out in the middle of Phaedra's boring funeral event to request Sheree as a bridesmaid for her wedding. Perhaps I lack political correctness, but, um, after a certain age the title "bridesmaid" should not be one you take on. Whatever Sheree's age, she qualifies. She should be a guest and that's all. Besides, Kim is almost too old to have any bridesmaids at all. Alright, I'll stop now.

Looks like the finale is going to finish out this lackluster season with a even more boring end. But, there is a bright side. As my cohort, Lexi, mentioned earlier, word is Sheree Whitfield has been let go from the RHOA family. That's a win for the streets considering "snitches get stitches" and all. Sheree's story has been flatlining for a while now. I mean, first, She by Sheree fizzled. Then, Chateau Sheree never got off the ground. Bob beat her and a trained lawyer at the money game, and her son sleeps on an air mattress. That is the furthest from the affluent life Andy Cohen means to exploit on these "housewives" shows. Oh well. RIP to Sheree's last paycheck.

Tune in tonight for the finale. I will. 'Til next time....

xoxo, Christina Rose

(Photo Source:http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-atlanta/season-4/photos/show-shots/all-pomp-but-no-circumstance)

Spectacles and Very Old Testicles

Hey, Bloves! Hope all is well....which is the total opposite of everything going on in Atlanta with these housewives....

I'll begin with NeNe who has legal matters to pursue these days with her son, Bryson. As you all know the "rich" housewife's offspring has come down with a case of sticky fingaz. He was held at the county jail for stealing a set of razors from the WalMart. Don't even get me started. I ain't never met a rich person who steals hygienic items. Greg, NeNe's estranged hubby, showed up to give a good talking-to to Bryce. I'm sure that will defintely save him from another trip over to county. *Side eyes*

In other news, Cynthia and Peter are still balling on a budget. This go-round they've planned a million-dollar anniversary party on a $20 budget. Peter hired planners, limo drivers, etc. Oh, and get this....the party is black tie. Blech. Then, Papa smurf's rude ass decided to shun Cynthia's sister, Mal, from taking part in the fabulous limo ride. But, I believe in karma, and it rang true because the limo never even showed. You could see Peter's carotid artery as he yelled at the limo driver when he admitted he was not coming. That's what Peter's slumming behind gets. And Cynthia for cosigning.

The party didn't go well to boot. Too many things happened. Kandi showed up in a club dress with Lady Gaga shoulders. Marlo showed up with another one of her old, white sugar daddies. NeNe flashed her goodies all in front of Petey and his friends. Sheree snitched on Marlo to Miss Lawrence for calling gays the "F" word. They even had to step aside to have this conversation. So, I have a couple questions. Maybe you can help. Who is Miss Lawrence? Why is he so important that Marlo has to explain herself? Why is Sheree suddenly a tape recorder liable to repeat anything you say past 2 syllables? Is Andy Cohen threatening to boot her from the show like he did Lisa and DeShawn? (I bet you don't even remember DeShawn Snow, do ya?) I'll wait for your answers to these burning questions.

All in all, Peter (not Mal) is the one who made a spectacle of that party. Although, Cynthia would tell another story. Mal was right to storm out after Peter called her a hater and embarrassed her in front of an entire crowd. I'd be willing to bet this party's budget that Cynthia and Peter won't make another year, and she'll be wishing she woulda just let Leon have it.

'Til next time.....

xoxo, Christina Rose

(Photo Source: http://thequeenscastle.net/rhoa-cynthia-bailey-peter-thomas-celebrate-first-wedding-anniversary/)

You've Been Served!!!

Hey fellow reality addicts!! How are my bleeples?? This week's rundown of the Real Housewives of Atlanta will be short since we have a bonus episode coming on December 13th! Happy Birthday, NeNe Leakes, and ME!!! But anyway...on to the foolishness....

 

 

 

The title of this epp is "Three Wigs & a Baby" in honor of the arrival of Kim & Kroy's little red bundle of joy, KJ. We spent time with the duo acting all corny as they prepared to bring him into the world. Let the angels sing...

 

 

 

Phaedra found herself in court again representing one of her esteemed clients....Dave the drug dealer. Dave was late, poorly dressed, and lying outta his big round brown. But, because Phaedra is such a legal force (and brown noser) the judge showed leniency to Dave for possession of illegal substances and non-regulation tint on his pimp mobile. After court adjourned, Phaedra escorted her client to his car where he paid her in cash in the parking lot. Professional!!! Little girls could learn a thing or two from ATL's #1 Southern Belle.

 

 

 

NeNe and her sidekick, Cynthia Bailey-Thomas, skipped off to NYC for some business ventures. But, not before Mr. Thomas made sure to remind Cynthia that she can't be playing around up there with NeNe. He asserted to her to make that money. I'm believing more and more that he ain't into Cynt. He just wants her ends. We got to go down memory lane with Russell Simmons who admitted to dating Cynthia years ago. I don't know about y'all, but she don't seem like his type to me. *shrug* We also got to see NeNe's "business" date with a new gentleman she met through Donald Trump. I can't remember the guy's name. He isn't important because NeNe is clearly dating Peter. POW!!! It's a shame though because he bought her red bottoms and got Pavarotti's kid brother to sing her moose like arse a concerto.

 

 

 

Kandi's setting her mom up on a senior citizens version of match.com. Other than Mrs. Joyce being squeezed into that body magic, it was less than interesting....

 

 

 

She by Sheree's behind is still wrapped up on legal foolery with the Abominable Black Man aka Bob. She has asked every woman on the show, her mama, and the lady at the grocery store if she should put Bob in jail until he pays....their response?? HELL YES, dummy! It wasn't until Sheree's mom explained that she too had to take Sheree's dad to court for him to pay that she began to understand that it must be done. We even heard lil stories about how Sheree's no good daddy never bought her the Speak N' Spell she asked for....Here's a question: how come Sheree's mom never bought it? You knew the damn girl wanted it?! I'm just saying. On this week's bonus epp, we get to see why we shouldn't underestimate Bob or his pet eyeball. 'Til next time...


xoxo, Christina Rose

(Photo Source: http://www.realitywanted.com/newsitem/4920-the-real-housewives-of-atlanta-season-4-episode-6-recap)

RHOA's Gone riDICulous!

What's good, bleeples?! In case you missed the latest episode of RHOA, I'm here to fill you in on all the gory, yes, gory details....

 

 

 

We'll begin with Papa Smurf aka Peter, who seems to have a really big chip on his shoulder this season. Cynthia decided that he and her sister, Mal, should discuss the incident at the wedding last season. Mal and their mom tried to withhold the marriage certificate at the ceremony to prevent the marriage from even happening. Watching Peter this season, I can totally see why. Peter is angry, broke, and selfish. Those are not the makings of a successful relationship. However, clearly the marriage did happen, but Peter is still mad. They went back and forth for awhile, but Cynthia came back and broke up the fight after she felt Mal had been abused enough.

It's Kandi's birthday, again. And in true Kandi Koated fashion, the ex-Xscape member is planning a Dirty Thirty party (even though, she's dirty thirty-FIVE). She, Phaedra, and Sheree met up and a nice outside venue to scope out the scene. They compared donkey booties and booked the venue! Phaedra mentioned to Sheree that she'd be bringing a nice surprise for Kandi's birthday present. More on that later...

 

 

 

Meanwhile, in Sheree's world, she is still building on Chateau Sheree. I swear I gotta figure out how to get that HUD hookup cuz Sheree has absolutely no monies. She and Phaedra took a trip to the job site because Sheree had expressed some concerns with her contractor and if he is completing the job in a timely manner. It's great to have a lawyer friend come out and threaten your hired help so conveniently!!

 

 

 

We got to share some time with NeNe. Derek J, NeNe, and Kandi went shoe shopping together. Derek and Kandi even showed up wearing almost exactly the same shoes.....They laughed and discussed style tips, but they also discussed Kim's baby shower. NeNe expressed to Kandi that she isn't surprised that she and Kim aren't really friends anymore. NeNe thinks that Kim was just out for a profit while Kandi was looking for a friend. NeNe also judged the fact that Kim is having a 3rd baby by a different father from her other kids. Wait!!!! Aren't both of NeNe's kids by different men?? She is notorious for judging people even though she is guilty of the same things. Pot meet kettle. Sit down, NeNe!!

 

 

 

We finally made it to Kandi's Dirty Thirty party which definitely did not disappoint. Mama Joyce, Lawrence, Derek J, all the housewives, and a slew of other important people showed up. It was like Europe vs. North America with NeNe ignoring Sheree and Phaedra the whole night, but the ladies had fun anyway. Lawrence showed up looking like Mr. T gone drag and livened up the party. Finally, Phaedra's suprise birthday gift was revealed. And boy was it riDICulous! No, literally. Ridiculous is a popular male exotic dancer who has the extraordinarily weird ability to pleasure himself. He shook and gyrated all over the birthday party, but it wasn't until he placed his johnson in his mouth in front of the crowd that things got crazy. Mama Joyce huffed and puffed all up in through the place and then all the way home. Many of Kandi's guests were disgusted and left including NeNe and Cynthia. Now, Cynthia I get. But again, NeNe is an ex-stripper so why is she spouting off how she can't stand them?? I wouldn't want to see a man do that either and I'm pretty sure that's a manlaw violation to put your own privates in your mouth, but I digress.

 

 

 

Next episode, we get to meet the newest housewife, Marlo, and hear about the drama already a'brewing between her and NeNe. 'Til then.....

 

 

xoxo, Christina Rose

(Photo Source: http://www.crabbygolightly.com/mt/2011/11/real_housewives_of_atlanta.html)

Don't Be Tardy for This Party!!!

Hey bleeples! It's been a minute since I got a chance to get at ya, but here I am so here we GO!! The Real Housewives of Atlanta is back on our screens delivering laughs and coonery all around....

Last week, we buried NeNe Leakes' gangsta after that crying scene she subjected us all to. No, she wasn't crying cuz her gangsta was dead, but because Sheree fronted her on a money situation. And no, Phaedra did not handle the ceremony. We just poured one for our homie. We'll miss you, gangsta. This week, NeNe, Kandi, and Cynthia took their talents down to South Beach for a girls' getaway.....Of course, its only fitting that they be visiting during Lesbian Pride weekend. In addition to getting hit on by the lady pond-ers, they also went hunting for retail. You know, NeNe's rich na! Oh you didn't. Well, if ya don't know, now ya know. She deposits Trump checks. Though, it did cross my mind that NeNe quit The Apprentice, and I thought those checks went to charity. I'll just have to kanye shrug that one off. Cynthia rode the NeNe train all the way in and out, while Kandi showed off her DONK! Take that Nicki Minaj.

Sheree and her son, Kairo, went shopping and spent time together. We found out about Ms. She by Sheree...that she used to be shy, that her ex-hubby still ain't paid those 7 figures, and a few other tidbits. She also shared that her ex doesn't spend anytime with the kids or help out in any way. Join the club, Sheree. Every other kid in America's got that story to tell.

It's Kim's birthday. You know her very vacant boo, Kroy, did it big in celebration. From the iced out bracelet to the 5-star meal to the no expenses spared birthday bash in the kitchen, that monkey did it big. I loved it!! Sweetie's been doing some things too. Keep in mind, I am a full-fledged card carrying member of the FREE SWEETIE campaign, but I think she's gone hollywood. Nobody that looks like Sweetie should ever wear powder pink lipstick. I mean, not even with a gun to her head. I digress. I enjoyed watching Kim NOT singing and enjoying her big, fantastic life with her gate-mouthed, awkward kids and her potato chip brained boo. I also loved when Kim cracked on NeNe saying "She ate her teeth". I'm sure NeNe enjoyed being the topic of conversation at your birthday too, Kim. That's prolly why NeNe tweeted that she was your birthday gift since you couldn't stop yacking about her. Straight from the horse's mouth!!

Phaedra and Mr. Willie Watkins graced us with their Funeral Foddery. Does it really get classier than an ice cream truck hurse?? Really?? No, it doesn't. Phaedra's mentor looks like he smells of collard greens and cornbread. His pockets fat, but his top hat FATTER. Phaedra really seems to be serious about this funeral home biz, she even fake consulted her convict hubby about it. He didn't seem to happy about it, but hey he needs a job and aint nobody else gonna give it to him. He needs to get used to the whole Six Feet Under idea. I'm just saying.

Next week, Apollo (convict boo) and Peter (RunTelDat) will be getting into an argument at Kim's baby shower. I might be old-fashioned, but it's kind of a man law violation to be fighting another dude at a baby shower. It's questionable that you're there to begin with. Weigh in, bleeps. I love to hear what you think?! Til' next time....

xoxo, Christina Rose

(Photo Source: http://www.screen-shot.source.com/)