Let me just tell you what this episode's theme was in my opinion: "All of the children on this show are FUCKED up!"
NORMALLY, I wouldn't talk about people's children in that way, but really, I can't help it when it comes to these Jersey screw-ups! First, nobody seems to want to do anything sensible! Albie did try, I give him that. But Christopher, Lauren, and Ashley are lost causes. They aren't in school, they're doing everything on their parents' bills (C'mon! You know the Manzo family paid for Lauren to get that "beauty bar" spot in that salon!), and they have no concept of time!! Albie, you're cute. Why does ALEXA RAE JOEL of all people intimidate you?? Keep that up, and you'll be gorgeous and single forever! Throw some swag to the world!! Chris, either you do comedy or sit down. You can't make it in life with whatever it is you call yourself doing. I don't care how much Bravo is paying you to showcase your life. Lauren, you're fat. Your dad was too, but he supposedly got his stomach sewn seven different ways! DO THE SAME! Ashley, just get off your ass a little bit! You're such a dumbass you don't even realize that if you went to college, you would have the best of both words because you'd get to party and look productive since you're in school! What is wrong with their thought processes??? The irony is all the Manzo children make fun of Ashley as if they have things completely figured out. They only appear to because they don't have two separate families like Ashley does. If Caroline and Albert were to get divorced tomorrow, I'm sure Caroline would be crying about more things that make her children sad. Blah, blah, blah!
Also, Teresa's children need medication. Milania is out of control!! I blame all of those shopping sprees she was taking them on but now can't. I know she has to be aware of the fact that these kids know something has changed. Milania's worse now because she can't go in stores and get everything she wants! Let Teresa live in denial, it's not my choice place of residence.
Melissa! She is a child herself. I have a feeling she REALLY sees Joe as her father! This bitch needs Prozac ASAP! Every time Joe does something for her, she jumps up and giggles like she's 8. It's starting to look sick. That recording session was also a hot mess. She can't sing!!! I'm convinced these producers just won't tell her that because they wanted the air time. Then, to see all the other cast members tweeting the iTunes link to Melissa's song during the show was pretty sick. We get it. You're all a "family." But shit is shit! And....guess what...THAT'S SHIT!! Melissa's sister should have asked that medium if there were any platinum plaques in her future. I'm sure the dead would have laughed at that. Plus, I'm not sure what they heard was "Ant" from that "spirit." I think they really heard "ain't", as in "Ain't nobody going to buy that shiteous song!"
By the way, does Melissa ever cry real tears? She's touching her eyes, but it doesn't look like there's anything there. I'm over her. For season 4, I hope Teresa just takes her whole family to Dr. Phil and calls it a day. I want Melissa and Kathy to be replaced! I'm tired of Teresa's over-the-top family....AND ALL THOSE DAMN MEN NAMED JOE!!!
Kathy needs to also let go of this "all these men want my daughter" attitude. One drunk guy at a party hit on her. If you're that worried, make her get rid of some of the extensions and air-brushed makeup she has on. Just a thought. I never have too much to say about Kathy because I think she just wants to be on this show so badly that she's willing to create drama and scenarios to stay relevant.
Finally, the intervention with Ashley. Ashley's biological father seems like a level-headed guy. He is just as confused as I am about how Ashley is planning to go to California and demand a job in a recession, which is harder for her because she has no degree or serious skills in anything. I'm happy Chris finally spoke up and told her that he's tired of her digging in his wallet but not trying to be the best person she can be! Best moment of the show, in my opinion! I feel sorry for Jacqueline, though. She is a good mom. She probably coddled Ashley so much because she didn't want her child to have to work as hard as she did. I understand that. I just hope Ashley starts to!
Until Sunday, Jersey addicts!
(Photo source: http://www.imbringingbloggingback.com/wp-content//rhonj-ashley-crying-again.png)
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