Strippergate

Ola, Blovers!! Hope all is well in your world. Things are rosey in my neck of the woods. As you can tell by the title, I came to give you guys the tea on the Real Housewives of New Jersey finale. Its been a long time coming, but it finally came. What is "it"? Teresa Guidice's evil likeness on the screen. I will talk more definitively about that in a minute...Let's get started shall we?

Over the past seasons of RHONJ, my preferences for characters has changed dramatically. I used to be a huge Teresa fan, only tolerating Caroline Manzo, hating Kathy Wakile, and kind of liking regular fence rider, Jacqueline Laurita. Since the progression of the show, I CANNOT stand Teresa. If you are Tre fan, I suggest you stop reading now, or swallow your pride as I warm up the fire for her roasting session. I rather like Kathy Wakile now due largely to her sister, Rosie. And, I think the Gorgas are hilarious.

Jacqueline had a little less drama this season because she sent her daughter, Ashlee, away. That girl is one big ball of crazy. I'm sure both Jacq and her hubby, Chris, were appreciative of that break. She planned a trip for the entire cast to enjoy one another in hilly San Diego. It was a successful trip until Caroline and Teresa had their big falling out. We recently found out that Jacq's son, Nick, has autism. She had been trying the entire 1st season attempting to get pregnant and did. Our hearts go out to her family as they transition to caring for a child with issues like his.

Caroline's family is known for their Brownstone and other business ventures. This season, we saw her sons and brother, Chris (Jacq's hubby), begin selling their BLK water and wine projects. Lauren has been whining all season about losing weight and being seen in the same spotlight as her brothers. Well, her daddy bought her the LapBand and has lost 35 pounds. Congratulations, girl. Will you just marry Vito now, get pregs, and gain that weight back? The whining is not attractive. Thanks.  Caroline has demonstrated her disdain for Teresa all season. So, it was no surprise that they were at each other's throats on the trip. Caroline turned 50 and has been spreading her wisdom all over the radio waves. Looks like its was somewhat successful....*sideeye*. She and past castmate/sister, Dina, are still well into it....which she blames squarely on Teresa. I don't know how much of that I believe. But, that's what she's saying.

Kathy's family is always up to funny antics. They are the light part of the show. This season, we saw her develop her culinary treats and sell them to a company. She is now a bonafide pastry chef now. Her hubby, Rich, has been the usual quick-witted perv we all have grown to love/loathe. The kids aren't up to much. Victoria looked for colleges outside of NJ just to end up going somewhere locally anyway. My guess is the dorm rooms were a big discourager. Rosie came out to her niece and nephew during the show. That was a heart warming moment....despite the fact that the WHOLE rest of the world knew this already. Shout out to Rosie for using Bravo to hunt for honeys!

Teresa has spent this whole season plugging her time on The Apprentice and her Fabulicious cookbooks. I should point out that these cookbooks are filled with recipes developed on the backs of sweaty, old Italian mamas and papas....none of which are Teresa Guidice. She admits that the recipes are her mothers, friends, and whoever else. So, kudos to all you do do birds buying this book knowing full well she ain't make up not a one of these recipes. You light up my life! Her girls have provided me with all kinds of entertainment this year...especially that Milania. I call her "Milaniac". That gal is 3 feet of honesty. She called her parents out every chance she got including blowing the whistle on Tre's hubby sleeping in his own room. She also said that her daddy never wants to see his kids. iDied!!!! Did you catch Joe in the vineyard talking to his "employee" and calling his wife a "F***ing C***"?? Oh yeah, me neither. *looks other way like Teresa*


Melissa has been soaring to the top ever since her debut on the show. She has taken advantage of the spotlight by jump starting her music career. She's released "On Display" and "I Just Wanna Party" and they've done fairly well on iTunes. I, personally, do not care for Melissa's music, but I do like laughing at her and her frisky hubby, Joey Gorga. There kids are adorable, and according to Meliss, her house is paid for. All things that probably frustrates her sis-in-law, Tre. They haven't gotten along since Melissa and Joe were married. You can read past blogs for more detail on just how deep this bad blood goes. But, this finale show is probably the biggest indicator.

Teresa hooked up with NJ mess maker, Kim D. You've seen her. She looks like the Pelican Brief by the face and is now wearing blonde weave....very becoming. The twosome visited a salon to get prepped for Kim D's annual fashion show. You remember....the one that has dreadful fashions, no name models, and terrible decor. These women fight at this fashion show every year. I don't even know why they keep going to this Dollar Tree production. Anywho, Kim D's friend, Bald Guy, showed up at the salon to tell Teresa that her sister in law is a former stripper. Teresa played dumb and asked him to please stop. Yet, BG showed up at the fashion show and greeted Melissa right out the gate. Melissa claimed that she knew him, but she didn't know him. The whole situation blew up with BG going around saying he set out to embarrass Melissa. Tre confronted Melissa on her past. This ignited a HUGE fight among family.

 Joey G. was called. Text messages were being sent the entire time to Jacqueline, who informed Caroline, who talked bad about Teresa for the rest of the night. You see the pattern here?? My only comment for this whole thing is to wonder, "what does it matter anyway?". I really don't care if Melissa dropped it or not. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if Tre did too. This is just disgusting and it shows just how immature Teresa is. She is guilty in my court of law. Point blank.

Next week begins the saga of reunion shows that I'm sure will entertain. I'm tuning in. How about you??
'Til next time....

xoxo, Christina Rose
(Photo Source: www.bravotv.com)
(Photo Source: www.priscillafromwasilla.com)
(Photo Source: www.cbsnews.com)

Caroline, I Know You're Still Scratching!

Well....our time with the ladies of "Real Housewives of New Jersey" has come to an end. : (

But if this second part of the reunion taught me anything it's that Bravo better be prepared to pay Teresa more money because she is BRINGING THEM VIEWERS LIKE MAD!!! Actually, Teresa has been the star all along. I still believe her table-flip is the main reason all of them are still relevant! Teresa just BROUGHT IT! She was calling everyone out, making herself look dumbER, and making us laugh in the process. AMAZING!!

First, Caroline needs to stop thinking Teresa is the reason for her losing a relationship with Dina. Dina denied it on her own blog (which can be found on her website), and if someone can break into Caroline's "made of steel" family then they need to check their locks! Seems to me that if someone can break a relationship you have with a sibling, your family isn't "thick as thieves" like she claimed during season one. And what's up with Caroline talking about Teresa's behavior?! Last I checked, Emily Post wouldn't find it too classy to throw someone out of another person's house regardless of whether it was warranted! LMAO! Caroline is a huge joke. And bish, that "apartment" upstairs sounds like somewhere Albert would hold the meetings of the five families. ROTFLMAO!!! Who is so tired they can't drive 8 miles home to their WIFE and CHILDREN?!

AND SCREW ASHLEY AND JACQUELINE! I liked Jacqueline before, but she can kick rocks now! Why are they still talking about her on the reunion when she refused to come?? And why is Jacqueline all over Twitter commenting on the reunion show?? If you didn't wanna be there, don't discuss it at all!!

And Melissa needs to stop acting like her face is a pool of calm! "Teresa, you're turning evil. Look at me. I'm your family." BITCH! You're family, but only when you wanna be! Melissa didn't give a damn about being family when she signed up to do this show. All she saw was another way to compete with Teresa and showcase her SHITEOUS singing (if that's what you wanna call it) abilities. Frankly, looking at Melissa makes me sick, so I know it was hard for Teresa. And by the way, Melissa's forehead is hella big! HOLY CRAP! LMFAO!!! I was like "Why would she let that thing get shiny?" ROTFLMAO!

But Teresa needed to stop lying and yelling for attention when they were talking about Victoria. Whether or not you were at the hospital is irrelevant, Tre. LOL! That really looked like one of those uncomfy beauty pageant moments when the girl says she wants world peace or to end world hunger. I just wanted her to stop trying to make that her moment. The whole show was already hers. LOL!

Now, as for the men, I will admit that I find something suspicious about the fact that Joe Gorga is saying Joe Giudice has been ABUSING him for 9 nine years. WHAT?! How is a grown man letting another grown man abuse him?? LMAO! That is the wimpiest statement of the century! And Melissa is proud to have a husband who is gladly pronouncing that he's getting abused by another man! LMAO! GTFOH! They better fight and buy each other a beer! Yes, I condone caveman behavior over that abuse/victim shit Gorga is pulling! : D

Oh, and didn't you just love how Teresa called everyone "bad" every 5 minutes?? LMFAO! I mean, they were just sitting taking all of these insults. Also, I believe Melissa only gets guts when she's near Caroline. I dare anyone to tell me that if she were next to Kathy she wouldn't have been thinking about how Teresa charged at Danielle last season! LMAO! Melissa, it's okay to be scurrrred! HAHAHAHA!

THE PRICELESS MOMENT OF THE NIGHT THOUGH: TERESA SAYING JOE WASN'T CALLING MELISSA A RACCOON FACE...HE WAS REALLY TALKING ABOUT KATHY!!!! ROTFLMAO!!! ROTFLMAO!!!!! REALLLY?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!? I saw her standing there looking like a damn raccoon, so I know Joe did too! He said what I was thinking as I was watching my TV! Kathy was nowhere in sight! ROTFLMAO!!!! Oh, Tre, we love you and your lies! : D

And when did Melissa get so mature?? SHE'S NOT! This is the same woman who instigated the christening fight! If she had not said "Why are you saying it now?" Her abuse victim of a husband would not have started banging on tables to start that brawl! And I'm just shocked Melissa pays someone to style her, but she still looks like Gianni Versace's vomit! UGH!

Plus, Joe being engaged two times before Melissa is suspicious. His family can't run off that many women. Those women were just tired of Joe playing with their dresses and bras! ROTFLMAO!!

The Gia discussion: I feel bad about that because truthfully, Teresa should have said "No, Gia" when she heard the song was dedicated to her and her brother. What else could it have been about?! But I feel that if they don't want Teresa talking about their kids, they shouldn't mention hers. That Gia song should have been something that was glazed over. You know, kinda like Albert's apartment. LMAO!

Bottom line: I believe these women are jealous of Teresa. I saw on Wendy Williams that Teresa is supposed to be coming out with a makeup line, an alcoholic beverage (like Bethenny's SkinnyGirl Margarita) called a Fabulini, and she's going to be on "Celebrity Apprentice". Now, I ask you, would we wanna see any of the other women do those things? And could they?? I don't want to see what Caroline's makeup line would look like because she can't even do her hair. I don't want Kathy's desserts because she doesn't know how to keep her foods at the correct temperature. That goddess party food was cold as ice by the time the women got there! I would have taken my ass home! Get it together, Kathy! LMAO!!

Anyway, I'm out! I've enjoyed blogging about RHONJ with you guys! I'll still be here for Real Housewives of HOTlanta!! Those are my girls!!

See you in the South, peaches!!

(http://resources2.news.com.au/images/2011/03/30/1226030/921554-teresa-giudice.jpg)

Jersey=All the INGREDIENCES of a HOT Mess!!!

OMG! Let me just say that this reunion was a rollercoaster!

First, Caroline immediately showed her allegiance to Melissa and Kathy and disdain for Teresa. Listen, we all know Teresa is lying! She can't say all of that stuff was just a joke. I would respect her more if she would just come out and say, "Yeah, I wrote it and meant! I was pissed that you bitches wanted to air my dirty laundry on this show. And I hate Kim G.'s granny ass!" LOL! That's what the table-flippin' Tre would have said! This brand new Teresa is a monster. I kinda came to her defense last week, but after seeing the foolishness that she will defend, I can't co-sign anything involving Teresa. HOWEVER, that means I don't like ANYONE on the show! LOL! Yes, that includes Jacqueline. That coward has been dogging Teresa on Twitter and commenting on the reunion, yet she's saying she's above the show. Jacqueline, either you're in or you're out. It's like the Mafia...ask your hubby...oops...I didn't say that. "It was a joke! You know, ha ha!" *Teresa voice* LMAO!

As far as Melissa and Teresa discussing Danielle referencing Melissa's son at the season 2 reunion, I am so confused! Why would Melissa talk about her family via Facebook with someone she doesn't know?! That just sounds like Melissa wanted to find out what gossip Teresa could have been spreading about her. And Melissa, Teresa told you to not come on the show because people would make fun of your forehead?! LMAO! I realize that was said to make Teresa look stupid, but it really made EVERYONE look 12!

The discussion of the christening is just old to me. The only interesting thing mentioned about that was when Andy Cohen read People magazine's comment calling it the worst since "The Godfather" christening. I laughed at that because I'm pretty sure every woman one that stage is close to someone delivering a "Moe Green special". Hell, that might even be a pizza on Joe Giudice's menu! HAHAHAHA!

This reunion was too easy to make fun of! They all were discussing Teresa's finances, but I am willing to bet those women probably can't produce 100% legit W-2s to justify their lifestyle. Well, Kathy probably could because her home and lifestyle seem to fit the entrepreneur career Rich has. Look at that! Another reason Kathy is just a filler on the show! Hmm... : D

I'm also going to point out how disgusting Melissa Gorga is. SHE IS FAKE!!!!! She is always crying over her dad as if someone has queued her to do so! Plus that fake praying is too much! I believe she created a character for RHONJ to top Teresa, but if not then she was possibly just heavily medicated during the reunion. *shrug*

Also, Caroline needs a muzzle. That bully just needs a new person to pick on every season. Even if she is mad at Teresa, she can't explain how she transformed that anger into a "beautiful friendship" with Kathy and Melissa. SHE DOESN'T KNOW THEM LIKE THAT ACCORDING TO HER!!! The allegiance she has to them will eventually change. It's sad a 50+ year old woman still treats friends like fashion trends.

And Joe Giudice actually thought he would get away with fraudulently obtaining a driver's license?! WHOA! LMAO! Teresa was also trying to say he did nothing wrong! SERIOUSLY?! LMAO! They are freakin' Bonnie and Clyde! They were about to go down together for bankruptcy fraud, but they dodged that bullet. I don't think Joe will get past the fraud situation though.

Oh, Melissa has to be half-Black. I noticed how she avoided that question a la NeNe Leakes with the stripper question on the first RHOA reunion. I knew I wasn't the only one out there who felt she was Italian and possibly something else! Overall, it doesn't matter. I just wanted to point out that my eyes work very well, people! Haha!

Anyway, can't wait to see what happens during part 2! I gotta go now, but if you think part 2 won't be worth watching, FUGGETABOUTIT!!!! LOL

By the way, I thoroughly enjoyed how Teresa stated that she was confused about the Brownstone. LMAO! They better watch Teresa because that bitch appears to be saying she's gonna take them all down if she goes down! LMFAO!

Later!

...And stay "calm and cool like a whistle"...ROTFLMAO!

(Photo source: http://s3.sidereel.com/episodes/1289765/featured/rhny.JPG)