Jersey Jabs

Hey Blovies!! How goes it?! Welp, last week Lexi kicked it off with the ladies of Dirty Jersey! That's right, the Real Housewives of New Jersey are back. They are just the right amount of rich mixed with a little rachet! Without further ado...

Jacqueline has been having problems with Ashlee since the beginning of time. However, up until recently, Chris Laurita (Jacqie's hubby) has been unmoved by Ashlee's antics. He's bought her car after car and dealt with her bull-ish. But, this season, even HE's sick of her. Finally!! They decided last week to cart her off to boot camp with her aunt and uncle in Las Vegas.  I, personally, think Vegas is the exact wrong place to send a wild-child, Kesha-like creature like Ashlee. Thankfully, she isn't my kid. This week Albie attempted dropping Kesha's twin off at the airport, but not without hearing 1001 excuses of anxiety and depression to keep her from making the journey. The complaints fell on deaf ears.....Meanwhile, back at the ranch, Jacqie threw a family/friend gathering. No shock Ashlee missed her flight and showed up at the house expecting to be welcomed. FAIL. Chris carted dat ass back the airport and made certain she hopped her butt on that plane.

At the party, the gang was all there including Melissa & Joe Gorga, Rich and Kathy Wakile, Caroline Manzo and gang (minus Albert), and Teresa and Joe Guidice. The party seemed to be going well until Teresa brought up that damned cookbook! I have never seen a cookbook cause so much raucous. Apparently, nobody told Teresa that writing a cookbook doth not equal writing a real book. There was a big blow up about the book at last year's reunion show. Teresa slammed just about everybody mentioned earlier and tried to call it a joke. Safe to say no one laughed. That fiasco ended and the guys went downstairs for a game. Juicy Joe Guidice bragged about how awesome he is for the -enth time until he attempted to compare height with Rich Wakile. You know Rich. The greasy guy Kathy's married to. Joe took the argument too far when he reached for Rich's balls (literally) and Rich put a nice shiner right on Joe's eye. That's the moment Rich gained a lil' respect from me. He is still greasy but a tiny bit less skeazy.

In other news, Housewives gone Popstars is still in full effect over at Bravo!. Melissa is not the first and won't be the last. She has recruited some top name producers to help her with her long-awaited sure to be platinum album. I can't! Her latest single is called "How Many Times" which is aptly named because I found myself thinking, "how many times are they gonna make us listen to this crap?". I know you guys watch and have opinions too. I'd love to hear what you think of her song. We got to see where Joey G. (Gorga) works and all the buildings he owns (each one named for his children). Blah blah blah.

Anybody surprised Teresa & Joe's pizza shop is closed? Who's the top business closer, Peter (RHOA) or Joe (RHONJ)?? You be the judge.

Next week, Teresa will face off with everybody for what I'm sure is more foolishness with the raciest cookbook ever written.

'Til next time....

xoxo, Christina Rose

(Photo Source: http://starcasm.net/archives/154180)
(Photo Source: http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2012/04/the-real-housewives-of-new-jersey-recap-poker-face/)