Hi, Bleeps! This week's episode of the Real Housewives of New Jersey brought us the usual Guidice shenanigans, Manzo wisecracks, and Gorga foolery. The kids stole the show this week, so we'll talk about that later. Let's get to it.....The show began with all the families preparing to run a charity 5K event. Of course the obnoxiously greasy Wakiles show up ready to kick some ass, Teresa and Joe were late, and the Manzos find a way to make fun of the event and cheat all at the same time. Other than a few side comments on how lame Tre and Joe are, I could've done without seeing it at all.
We got to sit in on an awkward family feud conversation among Jacqueline, Caroline, and Teresa about last week's foolishness between Joe Guidice and Joey G. (Teresa's bro). Caroline made a chilling comment: "Real men don't fight over texts". I couldn't agree with her more!! I don't know any men who take the time to call each other names and trash talk via text. This whole fight just goes to the evidence that both Joes go out of their way for attention. Neither is as manly as they'd like us to believe. Anyhow, that fight naturally leads to one between Teresa and Melissa (you know, On Display, On Display, On Display). This whole family is filled with childish and untalented people. Tre and Meliss were trying to figure out if the fight would hinder Uncle Joey G from coming to Milania's 5th birthday party. We'll come back to that...
Meanwhile, at the Manzo mansion, Lauren is still down on herself for being fat. I kind of feel like we've had this discussion. Frankly, I can't feel sorry for someone complaining about being fat and not liking how she looks as she stuffs a frickin' meatball & marinara down the shaft. In this world, we have many options. One being--gastric bypass. Another being--exercise. Another? Plastic surgery. Your parents are ballers. Pay the money and shut up awready!! PS your fat boyfriend thinks your hot, ergo, live long and prosper.
Back to Milania's birthday party....she, along with her 3 sisters, and Antonia Gorga are members of the elite group called the Cupcake Brigade. The Cupcakes can be spotted throwing fits, acting spoiled, and rocking fantastically fluffy frocks. I usually don't comment too much on the kids cuz their kids, but this week they brought it upon themselves. In true Guidica fashion, Tre went all out for her favorite baby. We're talking pizza, 99 cent decor, and a homemade birthday cake. Budget free, baby! As Tre and Milania prepared for the fabulous birthday bash, Milania didn't care for the dress her toad mother chose for her. My guess is it wasn't fluffy enough. She cried and moaned until she could wear the perfect dress--pink with many, many layers--matches the pizza sauce swagg! The party went on with all Milania's obnoxious, spoiled lil' bastard friends. They demanded pizza and ran around like monsters. At cake time, things got serious. Gia, Milania's fab older sister, wanted to share something special with the group in honor of her baby sis. **Skkkkkuuuurrrrt* Does everyone in this family have some sort of talent complex?? I mean first with Gia's modeling, Teresa's cookbooks, and Melissa's singing...SPARE ME. Even though Gia's a kid and I'll likely go to hell over this....the not 1 but 2 songs she shared with us brought me to tears....the kind you cry when you're in captivity or facing uncertain pain. The lyrics included telling her parents and uncle how stupid and immature they are for this family feud. While the lyrics were, um, poignant, I think the delivery could use some work. I'll stop there. Anyhow, the episode ended with some temporary mature behavior as a result, but next week we'll be right back. Til then.....
xoxo, Christina Rose
(Photo Source: www.nj.com/realhousewivesofnewjersey)
No comments:
Post a Comment