3.19.2012

Clink, B*tch, Clink!


So, bleeples, I missed last week's installment of Basketball Wives. But, it looks like I didn't miss too much. Therefore, it's on to the next one. Shall we....

For the life of me, I cannot understand why Kenya or Kesha are even factors on this show...especially Kenya. This heffa is two cubbies short of a bookshelf. That video she shot last week to launch her solo career was shameful, just shameful. What's worse? She actually thinks she's got talent. The way reality tv is headed she might be able to win American Idol....but that about it. This week she ain't on much accept that horrible, self-promoting toast she made at Shaunie's birthday celebration (we will discuss momentarily).

Kesha decided to take Royce & Suzie on a tour down home in North Cacky Lacky. They took the 5 minute tour in Kesha's mom/aunt's pickup truck. Yep, you read that right. She explained the whole family tree and tried to make us think that a cousin marrying another cousin ISN'T incest. Oh ok. She also continued to express her unhappiness with Tami's semi-racist comments about Kesha being of mixed descent. Ms. Kesha made a case to Judge Royce who ruled Tami out of order and agreed to speak to Tami on Kesha's behalf. Yeah, that went extremely well. Overall, the trip went well with Suzie completely judging Kesha's folks and Royce feeling all turched at Kesha's upbringing. She ain't got no daddy, yawl!!!


Back in Miami, Jen is getting alot of airtime. Seems all the ladies wanted to meet with Jen for one reason or another. This season the BWs are expressing that Jen has a new attitude. She is less available to them, calls them less, and just ain't who she used to be. I say more power to her. These hoes gave less than one crap about Jen before she picked up this new attitude. I wonder why. Overall, everyone seems to get along with Jen (new attitude and all) except for Evelyn of course. This bish is still bitter. She will remain bitter until a baller marries her....and even then, she ain't gonna be effing with nobody. She needs to learn many lessons. Ochocinco will teach her....starting with chlamydia.


Shaunie's birthday was in full effect. She had all the ladies here drinking to their hearts' content. This is never a good idea with this crowd, but what can ya do, right? Many toasts were made by all the kiss ass golddiggers present at the party. However, for me, Tami stole the show once again with that moment she had with Thuzie. Suze decided to thank Shaunie for her contributions to these ladies' bank accounts...This went over just fine until Suzie mentioned food stamps to Tami. Then, she spent the rest of the night apologizing about it. Meanwhile, Tami tried to calculate how long it would take her to shimmy down the table and kick Suzie's over comfortable little ass. I secretly hoped she had. Alas.

Lastly, Evelyn's rebuttle toast (in response to Jen's) resulted in a harsh word exchange. Evelyn's line, "you ain't 'bout dis life, Jen". My question is "what life?" The life in which you share your jobless athlete fianchee with strippers, prostitutes, and fellow golddiggers? Or the life in which you have to fake fight women where ever you go? Oh oh, the life where you can't keep any friends? If that's the life of which she speaks, I can see why Jen might pass. Plus, here's a secret boys and girls, Evelyn's bark is way bigger than her bite. Point blank. And can we discuss this book deal with Baby (from Cash Money Records) real quick? Evelyn can't even conjugate verbs. Baby Birdman or whatever can't either. He has stars tatted on top of his head. I can't take that and book publishing seriously. I'll stop talking about him now for fear that lil' Wayne will choke me with his purple skinny jeans. Ok bye.

Next week, the ladies read Kenya. This is an episode I definitely won't miss. 'Til then...


xoxo, Christina Rose

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