It's STILL Christmas in Jersey!!

What up, Bleeples! So, tonight's episode of the Real Housewives of New Jersey brought us some yuletide foolery as expected. I love Christmas, but I ain't never spent this long celebrating it. Every week now Melissa has uttered the phrase "It's Jesus' birthday". I am over it, Bravo. Move on.

The Gorgas jumped ship quickly at the Guidice residence this week in favor of the Wakiles' house. One word: Eww. How can anyone stand to be around Kathy's husband that much?! His greasy-ness causes my stomach to purge itself. Melissa and Joe ran to Kathy's house and went on about how much they dislike Teresa and Joe again. We do this weekly. You either like them or you don't. Choose a side. Santy Clause definitely made his way by their house. The kids were delighted with toys and goodies, but no one got more than spoiled songstress Melissa. Her hubby brings her Louis Vuitton luggage. She lets it hit the floor. That's what she thinks about your gift Joe. He gives her blingy shoes. She moves right along. He gives her a rolex. She kinda liked it. Then, the piece de resistance, he gave her a studio. I guess he didn't get the memo that she CAN'T sing!! Her having a studio is like monkeys loving peanuts or elephants loving bananas...just ain't right?! Whatever. Merry Christmas, heifer!

Christmas with the Manzos and the Lauritas is eventful as usual. This is if your definition of eventful is lame. Chris makes a failed attempt at faking the kids out that Santa is outside with his jingle bells. Albert comes home extremely late and of course missed the big fantastic family dinner. He works so hard *inserts finger in mouth*. This is all great, but I want to fast forward to Christmas morning with Jacqueline and the gang. Everybody's opening gifts and being all happy. Then, Jacqie points out that Ashley didn't buy her or Chris (her stepfather) a gift. As a matter of fact, she hasn't bought a mother's day, father's day, birthday, or any other day gift in forever. When asked about that,Ashley lets us all know that she hasn't bought a gift because she spent money on fixing up her car. Her car?! You mean the one your stepfather bought for you?? Uh huh. This really highlights the level of selfishness and disdain this trick really has for those who take care of her. Bish would get a gift from me half past never...especially Christmas. We give to get 'round here. You lose.

Over at the Guidice household, Christmas gets a delayed start. Joe, the bitter don, doesn't want to get out of bed. My guess is that because they are broke he wasn't in a real rush to disappoint his kids on Christmas morning. Meanwhile, his wife is still knee deep in the pretend land of money trees and happy christmases. All the adorable little G kids run to the tree and see all of 5 gifts under the tree. Hell, they got 4 kids?! Ok, lemme stop judging. Christmas ain't about gifts right?? I wish somebody would explain that to the kid in me who would've wrecked the building at that pitiful sight. Anyway, the kids still seemed to enjoy their Christmas. Tre gave her hubby a dog tag or something. Couldn't have been more than $10. Probably the kind of gift Joe was trying to avoid. Of course, Tre brings up her brother leaving the night before. I really wish they would both just grow up and realize that nobody cares about this foolisness...not even THEM?! Drop it.

Lastly, we caught a glimpse of the mighty Manzos doing a lil schmoozing of their own. I thought everybody bowed to them. Enter Christie Brinkley and Alexa Ray Joel. Ever wanna humble the Manzos? Sit them at the table with these ladies. We watched endlessly as Albie nervously twitched about at the sight of potential love interest. Caroline practically groveled at the chick's feet. I never woulda guessed it. She is desperate to have this girl in her family. Um, I hate to be the one to do this but uh...while Caroline went on about how Alexa Ray's got it together and would be great for Albie....isn't she the one who tried to off herself? Albie has a learning disability and got kicked out of law school. They are both clearly unstable and would not be good for each other...whether Caroline likes it or not. What the hell do I know though, right?! This probably ain't the last of the Joels...we'll see if I'm right.

I can't talk much about Kathy's family because I don't really care for them. I think Ashley could learn a thing or two from Kathy's kids on the art of gift giving and not being a selfish brat. But, I would like to know how much money they're getting a month in allowance. And, I would like to know how getting their mom a laptop is going to boost her catering business. If you have any answers, please share. 'Til next time...

xoxo, Christina Rose

(Photo Source: http://www.bravotv.com/)

I Gotta Move Back Home

Hey Bleeps! Better late than never on the latest Teen Mom foolishness. Legal matters continue running things on this week's episode.

Surprisingly, Maci turned out the dumbest of the moms this week. I was so disappointed in the display she made about having Kyle as her boyfriend and how much it would suck if she had to move home. Meanwhile, she's driving 2 hours one way to school everyday just to be with Special Needs. Her finances are steady dwindling and now you can wave bye bye to her brain cells too. Is stupidity contagious?? I mean, how else can you explain letting your man move in with you one week to save on money and then two days later moving home because you still can't make it financially. Then, she shopped around for places to stay closer to school and home and she rents out a lovely furnished home for over $1000 a month. If you got that much a month, why are you moving again? Tennessee ain't exactly Laguna Beach. Hell, I know homeless people in Chattanooga paying more than that. In the end, she moved and Kyle did too. He quit his job and moved in with Maci jobless and brainless. Then, he asked her, "am I a loser now?". Why yes, Gober Pile, yes you are.

Sister and Brother Husband aka Catelynn and Tyler aren't up to much. They drudged up unnecessary drama with their parents on how they need to improve their relationships and such. Not much entertainment there. Although, April (Cate's mom) was looking quite methy this week if I do say so myself.

Roseanne and Dan aka Amber and Gary are in deep sh!t. Well, at least, Amber is. Of course, since CPS has been sniffing around, Amber is trying to clean up her act. By that, I mean she moved out of the house with Gary and has been avoiding him and her baby. I think she does this because she'll hit Gary if she doesn't. Bottom line is the chick is an abuser. It's natural for her to abuse. Gary is the abused. Thus, he is doing everything he can to make sure that his abuser never gets her just do for her wrongs. He's gotten her a lawyer and shows up everytime she needs him. This relationship is totally unhealthy. And, poor Leah is gonna be just as crazy as her parents. That sucks. When it was over, CPS just gave Amber a warning and promised suprise visits to check on the baby. A slap on the wrist for this crazy heffa!

Lastly, Farrah had drama going on with her dead baby daddy's mama. Say THAT ten times fast! Last week, grammy hit Farrah up with the papers to obtain visitation with Sophia. This week, Farrah is determined to stop that from happening. She called Derek's mom everything but a child of God. If you listen to her, you would think this lady is nothing short of the antichrist. The whole family and some of Derek's family banded together to fight this demon woman. Farrah cursed her own mother out for a spell, and then the verdict was in. Visitation was denied for Lady Demon and all is well in Farrah Land!

Needless to say, I was a little underwhelmed this episode. This might explain the late posting. Hopefully next week they will step it up or Christina is going to be out for the count! Chime in and lemme know what you think. Or Post on My Facebook wall...Not my friend? Search christinarealityforreal@gmail.com to find me.

xoxo, Christina Rose

(Photo Source: www.imbringingbloggingback.com/teen-mom-gary-leah)

E! must love Willy Wonka because....

Get ready for this: Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi (America's most notorious, obnoxious, orange, Oompa-Loompa mess) has an "E! True Hollywood Story" airing tomorrow at 10pm EST. Yes, that means E! decided her life was worthy of a documentary. Excuse me, but isn't this the same chick from the show who can't get a guy to sleep with her to save her life?? LOL! I am so disappointed in E! You watch the "Jersey Shore" to laugh, but no one should actually take them that seriously! REAL celebrities have been chronicled on that show, and to think Snooki is now considered to be in their league is scary.

And can she please unplug her loud, flashy dress so this photo would be easier to look at?! : D

(Photo source: http://www.shoppingblog.com/pics/snooki_burgundy_sparkly_dress_mtv.jpg)

JOOOOOEEEEE!!!!!!

Teresa Giudice is not a happy camper! About 6 hours ago via her Twitter account, she expressed her anger at Bravo for editing the blog she wrote for the site.

She provided a link (http://www.celebuzz.com/2011-07-25/teresa-giudice-clearing-up-drama-caused-by-fame-whore-family-members/) to the blog that she feels gives an unedited, accurate account of the events on Sunday night's episode.

I have not read the Bravo blog, but I did read the one from the above link. It seems that Teresa is saying Lysa, Melissa's sister, is lying when she claims she was punched in the face by Joe Giudice's mother. I have to say that I believe Teresa is telling the truth on this one. Melissa's sisters seem grubby and ridiculous. After all, they do feed Melissa's massive ego to an unhealthy extent.

The rest of the blog discusses the importance of family, how much she wants to work things out with her brother, blah, blah, blah, blah! I swear, I have never in my life seen a group of people more hell-bent on defending their definition of "family." Frankly, if being a family is this difficult for them, they need to break up because I'm starting to feel like I'm watching the Ronnie/Sam "Jersey Shore" drama.

Man, that state knows how to amp up the trash!!

(Photo source: http://www.celebuzz.com/2011-07-25/teresa-giudice-clearing-up-drama-caused-by-fame-whore-family-members/)

Tami's a starter....The rest are riding the bench!

I normally don't post about "Basketball Wives". I usually leave that to my co-blogger Christina, but today, I had to chime in!

First, I must say that the underbite-having creature, known as Suzie, needs a muzzle! She is destined to forever be the girl someone hates because she can't seem to give HERSELF a break from the drama! She knew that telling Tami or Evelyn what Meeka said would get Meeka injured in some way. I think Suzie's a mole of some sort. I don't remember the player she supposedly dated years ago. I don't understand what makes her so "interesting". She serves no purpose, and I don't know why she thinks the women in this group won't throw punches at her soon! Does she not know undercover hoodrats when she sees them?? She's pressing her luck! That chick should start playing poker for a living because her whole life is one big gamble! LOL

And Evelyn really thinks she can be friends with people?? HOES DON'T HAVE FRIENDS!!! They can't because they might screw their friends' men! I thought that was well-known. Evelyn thinking she can have real friends is like a stripper thinking she can leave her co-workers with her husband. In other words, it's INSANE!! Evelyn is a gold digger to her core! And for her to get mad at Jennifer, as if she's the only one who thinks Chad Ochocinco is a media whore, is ridiculous. I'm pretty sure Chad's not going off on men in the locker room for talking about her! He knows who and what she is. She would be wise to know her role and do the same when it comes to him. Plus, he is not about to marry her! NO MAN WILL! As Tami has said before, Evelyn claims she ended her 10 year relationship with Antoine Walker, but how long were you planning to just let an engagement go on?? Evelyn, if athletes aren't marrying you, it's because they have learned your game, meaning too many of them have been with you. LOL! The only chance she has is to marry a low-rent athlete a la Kim Kardashian, at least that guy will marry her for the publicity if nothing else. And she can always go find a no-name NFL player. Most of them don't even break a million dollars a year, so they will take any pretty face in a skirt. Strippers, gold diggers, busted bitches included.

Tami, Tami, Tami!! What was the show like before Tami was a cast member? I truly don't remember, so that tells me it was what? IRRELEVANT! I think most of the women know that, too, and that's probably why they sometimes tell Tami things they know will set her off. TAMI IS THE SHOW!!! Last night, I was in tears laughing at her imitating Meeka to her face. It was priceless. Meeka isn't clueless, she's just SCARED! LOL! And she should be...Tami beat her ass like she was an old, ugly rug last night! It was a true snatch-n-grab. Straight hood! LOL

I have no idea what this show is doing to Shaunie's image and credibility, but she should definitely enjoy this fame for as long as Tami allows it to last. I mean, really, how many women are you going to come across who can beat another woman OUT of a country?!

Think about that....LOL

(Photo source: http://www.i-publicist.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/tami-roman-meeka-claxton.png)

Float Like A Butterfly, Sting Like A B-Ball Wife!

Holy Catfight, Batman! Well, Bleeps. You guessed it. It finally went down between Tami and Meeka! Basketball Wives heated up tonight with all kinds of fights, foolishness, and mayhem!

Last Week, we were left in limbo on what was going to happen with Evelyn and Jen. No brainer?! Tami and Mother Shaunie swooped in and meddled until the whole "your man's a media whore" thing blew over. Evelyn fussed. Jen wept. End of Story.

The ladies ate and frolicked all over Italy. And everywhere they went, Tami's anger was sure to go! Each time they sat down Tami would confront resident grease monger, Meeka, on the stuff she's always randomly saying to someone. First, it was about Royce. Then, it was about going back and forth from Evelyn's click to Suzie and the other rejects. Finally, it was about some nasty things Meeka said about Tami's weave, clothing, and personal choices. At this last meal, Tami came in ready to argue. She didn't want to even sit next the the grease monster. I can't blame her, she might drip. Kohl's ain't cheap. Tami mocked the damn girl right in her face while the entire table laughed. Then, she let Meeka in on the joke...except Meeka wasn't feeling it. Of course, Tami dialed up the drama by explaining her frustrations to Meeka loudly. It took ol' mama Shaunie aka the BBW Oracle to tell Meeka WTF the problem is. And, the impossible happened!! Meeka apologized. Tami's response: "She apologized. I heard it." Coldblooded doesn't even begin to describe. I loved every second. Needless to say after Tami told Meeka her "black ass" should have said...they ain't cool no mo'.

Meeka decided to talk with Suzie about her Tami problems. They discussed the Royce issues. They also drudged up some old conversations. Meeka confided in Suzie that Tami called the other ladies "fake". Suzie noted these comments in her head like a tape recorder. Everything Meeka said to Suzie during their rendezvous she might as well have shouted from the rooftops because Suzie ran and told that. Thuzie explained that the things Meeka said put her in an "awkward" position. You mean more awkward than your oblong face? Oh ok.

Tami said later that she would just be civil on the rest of trip....until Suzie sang like a canary. It was all ships on deck at that point. Later that evening, the ladies met up in some exclusive Italian club. I found it odd that they showed up in 3s but they left in one van...Ok, anyway, Suzie, Jen, & Meeka had a few drinks before the other ladies showed up. Tami and the others walked in. No makeup, hair in a ponytail, and sour face.....sounds premeditated to me. Tami tried to talk with Meeka about the new information she received from Suzie. Meeka maintained that Tami did indeed call everybody fake, but Tami says she called them "popular". LOL, really Tami? All it took was for Meeka to put her hand up...and WHOOMP Upside Meeka's head, I say WHOOMP upside her head!! Jerry Springer looked like Mr. Rogers Neighborhood compared to this. It took like six guys to get Tami up off of Meeka. Weaves and sh!t pulled. It didn't end well.

After that, Meeka scurried out of Italy like a race horse at the track! She wrote Oracle Shaunie a letter explaining her hurried escape. Naturally, Shaunie reads the letter in front of everyone. "Dear Shaunie, Tami is unstable"....and so on. Tami's Response: "Dear Meeka, write a letter to someone that gives a f*ck!" You know Tami is borderline Borderline Personality. She really ain't stable. But, she could kick it with me any day. She is TV gold!

Can't wait until next week when Mr. Ed returns!

xoxo, Christina Rose
(Photo Source: http://blog.vh1.com/2011-07-25/meeka-claxton-sues-basketball-wives-3-castmate-tami-roman-after-throwdown-in-italy/)

Cupcakes N' Christmas Slaves, er, Sleighs!

The Real Housewives of New Jersey continued this week with the epic battle that rages on between Teresa and Kim G. Lemme take this time to also note that Kim G is not even a cast member...Christmas time in Franklin Lakes is not only colorful. It's dangerous!

Last Week, Melissa & Joe were busy kicking Monica Chacon out of their party while Kim G put up a fuss. This week, we see Monica shuffling on out the door while her beloved friend Kim watched the door closed. Forgive me, but isn't it protocol if not courteous to leave with your guest if he or she is getting put out?! Well, shame on Kim for not doing that, but then again what else could we expect from a low life duck face like her?

They go on with the party as Jacqueline flaunts the power of family with Teresa and Caroline in front of Kim G. Joe Gorga is being his usual self and sandwiched betwixt several ladies bosoms. Then, we catch Albert Manzo slide into the party all fashionably late. That's when things turn up a bit...Was I the only one thinking how incredibly mafioso for him to come in so smoothly and Joe Gorga's already up his ass and fixing him a glass of "the best wine we got" before he's in the door completely. I've never known thugs in the 'hood to kiss their boy's hand when they enter a room...Yep, only Scarface n'em. Anyway, Caroline decided she didn't like Kim G's behavior and would confront her on it. 2 seconds in her goon sons swoop in and usher Kim outta there like she was in a mosh pit. As if it weren't mob enough to throw someone out of someone else's house, they also kicked her bodyguard out too. But that shocking thing for me is that after throwing Kim out, Chris cried?! Only mobsters can cry and not have the street cred card revoked. He cried because he manhandled his best friend's ma for God's sake! No words could describe how entertained I was.

Meanwhile, our resident filler, Kathy, served her purpose. Actually, her mom and sister were the real entertainment. Not only did we learn about Teresa's family history, we also got a good lesson on how to make nasty Christmas food. Those food balls on the table were barf-tastic. It was definitely a greasy Christmas! Rosie educated us on Teresa's dad's name...Giacinto (pronounced Ja-jinto?). Uh uh. We'll stick with Gino....coincidentally Melissa's son's name...and Gia, Teresa's daughter, is likely named for him as well. Aside from Rosie looking man-ified...I can find nothing else worth discussing in Kathy's world.

The Manzo/Laurita clan continue on their journey of taking over the world. Caroline's radio show seems to be taking off. People are actually calling in. Too bad most of them are people Caroline knows personally and probably says this crap to regularly. Her brother, Chris, also Jacqueline's hubby, called in for advice on making Ashley feel more included in the family. Here's some advice: stop buying her any and every thing she wants without earning it first. Start making her be responsible instead of asking. Let her find out the hard way. Caroline didn't give him anything...instead she just praised him for what he's done...yawn. But, later at their Christmas gathering, I loved the slapstick comedy a la the Manzo brothers. They roasted dear ol' Santa. Among all his other names, we can now add "classless bum" and "slave driver" to the list. They cited both the fact that Santa only works one day of the year and the fact that the elves are the ones making the toys to add to their slave driver point. I have to say, I agree. **shrug**

Finally, the Guidices were up to their usual of family fueding and uncomfortable gatherings. Teresa and Melissa are both guilty of making their kids wear some of the fluffiest clothes. Poor Audriana really did look like a cupcake (thanks, Lex!). And even though Milania is bad as hell, she is smart as a tack. She pointed out immediately that the sad excuse for Santa was indeed her "Nona" and not the real deal. In a word, FAIL. And in true Theresa fashion, she chastised Melissa for appropriate dressing as she walked around with only her butt cheeks covered. Double standard, much? Whateva, Tre! PS tell your hubby that before he goes on about how someone looks like a raccoon, he should prolly check on her Dwarf Certification. I think its time for a renewal. 'Til next time...

xoxo, Christina Rose

(Photo Source: http://poponthepop.com/2011/07/real-housewives-of-new-jersey-recap-christmas-jersey-style/)

Ducks and Raccoons, all under the Christmas moon!!

Tonight's episode of "Real Housewives of New Jersey" picked up where the last left off: the eviction of "duck-lipped" (Thanks for that, Teresa!) Kim G.! Finally, someone was able to remove this cockroach in Louboutins and pearls! However, it was the most unlikely two people: the Manzo brothers, Christopher and Albie. I didn't even know they had it in them! LOL!

As far as why they did it, I can support that. However, just because Caroline and Kim G. are fighting, that didn't give them the right to kick Kim out of the party. Why? Because it wasn't their home they were kicking her out of! If they wanted to just start a huge fight and set the place on fire with insults and attacks, that's one thing. They took the "Get outta here!" road, though. That was a little uncalled for, even though I hate Kim. Regardless, I can't say I blame Caroline for telling Kim off. She did come there with the intention of hurting Teresa and her brother. Kim is truly this season's Danielle Staub. She even came to the party with a bodyguard. I don't trust Kim as far as I can throw her! But maybe she could have avoided some of that embarrassment of being thrown out had she arrived to the party on time. That being said, Kim needs to listen to the other Kim in ATL, "Don't be tardy for the party!" LOL!

Next on the list is the radio show. I understand that Caroline has become a well-known personality because of this show, but her radio show is PITIFUL! Even when her brother called in to the show, it was touching but not enough to win me over. And more importantly, WHY ARE SO MANY PEOPLE CRASHING THIS TV SHOW?!? Who is Kim G.?? Who is Dolores?? Bravo is making so many non-cast members famous! Geez!!

And...Christmas Eve at the Giudice home! First of all, Teresa needs to let those little girls wear casual clothes. Audriana looked like a cupcake tonight in that horrible baby-sized prom dress replica. Ten years from now, that little girl is going to see that show and want to punch Teresa in the face! LOL! Also, Joe Gorga needs to get over that whole "Everyone is talking about me and the christening, so I don't want to be around the Giudice family" thing. Of course, they are talking! I'm not even family, but I'm talking! LOL! And he would rather go to Kathy's home as if she's not talking? She's probably talking the most!! Delusion, delusion, Joe.

Oh! And did anyone else catch the epic moment of Joe Giudice LOUDLY calling Melissa a raccoon-faced witch?? LMAO! It's so true! Why is she always wearing that much eye make-up when her eyes are already HUGE?? Don't worry, Melissa, we are not missing those peepers of yours!! : D

Person to watch though: Kathy's sister, Rosie. You know, the "manly" chick with the black Kangol hat. OMG! Is she Rosie O'Donnell or the butch chick from "Bridesmaids"?? LOL! I just need to know! Bravo, what's the deal there?? LOL

Until next time.....

(Photo source: http://realitytea.realitytea.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/new-uploads/2011/07/Melissa_KimG_Christmas-Party.jpg)

Who's Suing Who?! Basketball Wives Update

This Just In, Bleeps! Last week during that Basketball Wives preview they left us wondering which cast members were in an all out brawl....well, thanks to my lovely friends/readers, we now know that it was Tami Roman and Meeka Claxton. Yes!! We know because apparently Tami waxed that ass so badly that Meeka is suing. Poor grease monkey! Here's an exerpt from MediaTakeout.com:

According to the lawsuit, which MediaTakeOut.com obtained from one of our SNITCHES at the Nassau county courthouse - Meeka is suing Tammi for ASSAULTING HER during the taping of the show.Here's what happened. Meeka and Tami were taping an episode of Basketball Wives when Tami PHYSICALLY ATTACKED Meeka. But get this. Instead of Meeka behaving in a GHETTO MANNER - like is the case on most reality shows nowadays, Meeka did the classy thing. She's launched a LAWSUIT against Tami.Good for her. Hopefully she takes every dime that Tami got. Wait a sec . . . does Tami even have any money. LOL!!!

LOL, It's raining foolishness y'all! I had to share with all my fellow reality TV junkies.

xoxo, Christina Rose

(Photo Source: http://igossip.com/gossip/Tami_and_Meeka_from_Basketball_Wives_Get_Into_Nightclub_Brawl_in_Italy_VH1/1659441)

Doesn't Pay 2 Be 16 & Stupid

Hi, Bleeples! I'm just droppin' in to get you the latest on our fave (or least fave) celebreality stars. Jenelle, 19, of Teen Mom 2 fame, strikes again! For those of you who aren't familiar, she as all of her cohorts was 16 & Pregnant and is now a teen mom. I say that loosely because Jenelle is anything but a real mom. She is likely on the show because of the neverending drama between her and her son Jace's caretaker Barbara (Jen's mom).

Currently, Barbara has custody of the boy because Jenelle never stays home long enough to see about her son. She stays smoking dope and hanging with the sorriest lot of people on the east coast. These days you never see Jenelle unless, King of the Sorries, her boyfriend Keefer is in tow. They have alot in common....white powder....mary jane....jail....the list goes on and on.

The lovely couple who fell in love in about 2 days flat are what I like to call nomads. They have nothing. They live nowhere. They have no job. They have no goals. They are dope heads through and through. In fact, they are so in love that Jenelle has whooped one of her best friends' ass over him. Hence, the jail time she was supposed to serve. And he is so in love with her, he let her take the fall for breaking and entering someone's home. Don't ya just love love??

As of yesterday, Jenelle has been placed back in police custody. She is said to have violated the terms of her probation. She tested positive for THC, a compound found in marijuana, during a court ordered drug test on July 13. According to a July 15 probation update report, the star is also not up to date on her court fee payments and has failed to continue her post rehab after car programme. Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2017453/Teen-Mom-star-Jenelle-Evans-violated-probation-testing-positive-drugs.html#ixzz1SqO71iBW

Like this story? Tell me what you think below or on my FB page....email me at christinarealityforreal@gmail.com . Catch ya later, Bloves!

xoxo, Christina Rose

(Photo Source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2017453/Teen-Mom-star-Jenelle-Evans-violated-probation-testing-positive-drugs.html)

So, Jessica Rabbit, this is your Roger??

This is a pic that Drita D'Avanzo posted online of her and her "soon-to-ex/current/who-the-fuck-knows-what-they-are" husband, Lee D'Avanzo. Damn, after learning he cheated on her, I guess Drita didn't care about him not wanting his face out there! LOL!

Okay, so the cold cut demanding, potty mouth, disrespectful, cheating convict, known as Lee D'Avanzo, who was the subject (at least to an extent) of conflict between former friends Karen Gravano and Drita D'Avanzo is this guy?! FLAG ON THE PLAY!!! He is not someone to go crazy over AT ALL! These women were acting a fool over this guy, who I promise has probably 10,000 other look-a-likes on Staten Island.

I do believe Karen's issue with the situation was truly one of friendship, but the fact that Drita was all "I'ma stand by my man!" for this guy just bewilders me. I'm glad you're moving on, Drita. You can do better!

(Photo source: http://realitywives.net/blogs/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Lee_DAvanzo-660x713.jpg)

16 & Pregnant-->Teen Mom-->Inmate 72011

Legal drama prevails this week on Teen Mom. I've never seen so many lawyers on MTV at one time. From Farrah's visitation mess to Amber's imminent brush with jail time, we get to see that aside from the glitz and glamour of being on the cover of say People magazine, it still ain't smart to be 16 & Pregnant.

I'll begin with Roseanne & Dan or Ike & Tina depending on what time of day it is. Amber, Gary, and various family members/friends are contacted by both the police and Child Protective Services. You know what that means--trouble. Of course, Roseanne downplayed the domestic violence she subjected poor Dan too. She cried and whined about how she just wants all this to go away. What I love about this is that the assailant is whining and cryning (yes, cryning) to the VICTIM. You gotta have some enormous balls to tell the person you hit regularly that not only is it their fault but that you don't deserve punishment. That is a true abuser. Furthermore, old Dan apologized for it and tried to find her some help. Enter the Red Bowtie Don....or R&D's new legal counsel. He (along with everyone else they've consulted) warns them that the charges she's facing are very serious. Cue more tears....Blah blah blah. I say book the bitch! Did you see her using her "Craw-Magaw" techniques on Gary?? Right. Book her. And, if CPS sees fit to remove Leah from this home, I wouldn't blame them. That child is already halfcrazy and damn near has to take care of herself. Ask Leah...I'm willing to bet she throws the deuce.

Maci is being her usual dumb self. She is a smart girl, and she is a good mom to Bentley. But, when it comes to guys, you might as well call her Kelly Bundy...swagger just dumb. She let Kyle move in to her apartment in an effort to keep from moving back to Chattanooga with her family. Outlook: Hazy. Meanwhile, Ryan yammers on about how he hasn't met Kyle yet. He wonders if the chromosomes Kyle is clearly missing will affect Bentley's well-being. Yeah....crap, but Kyle does look like he could be "special needs". Anyway, Maci is trying to plan a birthday party for the little man too. Naturally, she needs Ryan's financial assistance to do this. So, he takes this opportunity to express his concerns. Finally, they both agreed to the guys meeting. In the end, they met, they shook, and they departed. Is it me or is Kyle a little scary? He seemed hesitant to meet Ryan, and when they did meet he held his head down most of the time....Toughen up lil wussy. You got like 50 pounds on him.

Catelynn and Tyler are up to their usual as well. This week Sister and Brother Husband anticipate BH's dad, Butch, getting out of jail (for the umpteenth time). He went in last year after the fight he had with SH's mom, April. They are now under a strict "No Contact" order as a result. Tyler and April went back and forth on who should pick Butch up from jail. I would think the obvious answer is Tyler. Hence, the no contact order. I'm just saying. Finally, they agreed that Tyler and his sister would pick Butch up. That man is pure comedy. He comes a'runnin out the building with his one bag in hand and kissed the ground. I love it! You know he's going right back in though, right? I mean what man who has been imprisoned for almost a year and has a wife isn't going to find her and ram her like dogs in heat?! Its only a matter of time before they are back together, fighting, and calling the police. Can't wait for it all to unfold...

Farrah and Sophia are actually the ones with the least drama...or at least they were until the police showed up with forms demanding that the paternal grandmother be given visitation rights. We all know Farrah ain't the easiest person to deal with...last year even her own mama swung on her. She is selfish, pigheaded, and has the ugliest cry I have ever seen. Yes, that counts against her. She's been going to counseling which I think helps some, but this girl needs ALOT of help. Now, she's upset that she doesn't have many friends...well, she doesn't have any friends. Any guesses on what happened to the asian girl that was hanging with her last year? Yeah, that's what I thought. The paternal grandmother and Farrah obviously never got along. And until recently, Farrah has never even mentioned her. The PG has contacted the Social Security benefits office and let them know that while Sophia's dad has been proven to be her dad via DNA he never acknowledged the child. This information made it impossible for Sophia to receive the benefits she so rightfully deserves...how she deserves them is another question. Anyway, wtf does his acknowledgement mean? Hell, I know plenty of men who don't acknowledge their kid, but child support don't give a hill of beans about that. Whaddo I know anyway. In the same breath, the PG is demanding visitation rights. I don't get that. You want to deal with Sophia as family, but you don't want her getting financial support from the government? While this is wrong, Farrah still managed to alienate her family by saying she won't accept the advice to consult a lawyer in favor of just ignoring this whole thing. That's stupid. She's stupid. But, alas. Pick a side. I, personally, am usually Team Anybody but Farrah, but I'm choosing her for now. We'll see how this whole thing plays out next week.

xoxo, Christina Rose

(Photo Source: http://www.blippitt.com/teen-mom-amber-portwood-charged-with-3-felonies-for-tv-attack/)

Keep My Name Ocho Mutha F****n Mouf!

Look out, Bleeps! Hold the phone, Jersey Shorers! Italy ain't never seen nothing...until they seen the Bitter Basketball Bitches go at it. As always, the exes, jumpoffs, and baby mamas deliver the drama.

We left off last week with half the table versus Meeka. Anybody else think Meeka looks like a sock puppet?? Oh ok...anyway, Tami, Evelyn, Jen, hell everybody are all trying to tell this fool that nobody at this dinner table is her friend. But of course, she's doing so much talking she can't hear what the other ladies are saying. Thus, she missed the memo once again. And in true BBB fashion, when in doubt, trash Royce. Meeka solicits the wise musings of the lovely Jennifer Williams to inquire about whether or not she really has friends in the "circle". Jen confirmed. Yeah, no Meeka. You don't.

Over the next few days, Tami goes on about Meeka to the point that Meeka actually stopped showing up for social gatherings. Gotta love that Tami! She wrote the book on drama and driving others away...i.e. MTV's The Real World and, um, her husband.

The ladies fronted Suzie briefly about whether or not she's been playing informant to Royce in regards to the trip. She denied it of course...and if she didn't look pathetic enough, she read her texts from Royce aloud to ensure that she was telling the truth. Here's the thing, Suzie: You are real REAL grown. If you text message Umbutu, King of the Sick Dicks, that is your business and you ain't gotta answer to nobody but your maker about who, what, where, and when you do anything (with). Stop checking with these hoes about what you do...that is my assessment. The level of lame just really makes me ill, y'all.

Meanwhile, as if there wasn't enough drama to go around, enter Evelyn with her new set of foolishness. She called a conference meeting with Shaunie (head BBB) and Tami (1st Drama cadet) to discuss a recent interview her "best friend" Jen did in Cleveland recently. If you watched the show, you know that we heard about 2 mins of conversation between Jen and some radio DJ who asked about Ev and Chad Ochocinco's relationship. More specifically, she asked if Jen had a problem with him being an athlete and dating her friend. Jen responded by calling Ocho a "media whore" and asked if Evelyn wanted to get out of one bad "situation" for another one. Now, I'm trying to figure out where in there Jen said anything false. And how did Evelyn conclude that Jen ain't sh!t and that she is not a good friend? I've never cared for either one of them, but on this one you can call me Team Jen. Every season Evelyn has shown she is the one who isn't a good friend. She is your best friend until she ain't. Then, she is your worst enemy and will spend all her free time trying to figure out ways to make sure you know she's your enemy. You will find yourself spending the exact amount of time you did telling her your personal business wishing you had never met. Jen has been cosigning on these shenanigans for some time. So, it's funny to see the tables turn on her. Now she can see firsthand what it's like to be on the other end of Evelyn's antics. The only difference between Jen and any other chick is that she cares. We don't. I would blow Evelyn the deuces before she could say "You's a non-muthaf****** factor, bitch".

The same ones who conferred with Evelyn and practically sicked her on Jen like a dog to an intruder are the same ones coddling Jen and trying to make Evelyn take it all back. Epic fail!! Shaunie and Tami are trouble and mess rolled up in a ball. These women are so high school. Climbing through windows and sh!t?! What in the entire f***?? You are too grown to be climbing walls over this.

Next week, we get to see Tami's next victim...or was that Evelyn....or Meeka?? Who was that fighting in the preview, anyway? You weigh in. 'Til next time, Bloves!

xoxo, Christina Rose

(Photo Source: http://xclusivesoundz.com/reality-and-tv-news/basketball-wives-episode-6-%E2%80%93-ciao-miami/)

Mrs. Chacon, you're g-g-g-GONE!!!

WOW! "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" was sooooo entertaining last night! Where should I begin?

Let's start with the Giudice family putting up their family Christmas tree. Teresa's daughters are so cute! But does she have to make them all wear those tacky ass bows?! C'mon!! We get it. You still think you're in Italy living as an Italian princess, but smell the bankruptcy and American air, sweetheart!!! Plus, WHY IS AUDRIANA always under a ladder or about to tumble down some stairs?? Either she's too active for words, or her parents are overly self-indulgent....you pick. My job is just to write about this! LOL!

Also, I found myself able to not only verbally understand what Joe Giudice was saying last night, but I actually agreed with what he was telling Teresa about family and friends. He's right, you only need to worry about the people who have been there to lift you up when others were trying to tear you down. And yes, I believe Rich (Kathy's husband) is a "candy ass," as Joe so elegantly called him.

And ASHLEY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE?! This girl has no job, but lives off of Chris' money like she is his biological daughter. Listen, if Chris leaves Jacqueline tomorrow, he is only obligated to his BIOLOGICAL children. Taking care of Ashley would be something he would be doing purely out of his own heart. I don't understand how someone like her who didn't grow up with money can be so entitled and bent on being useless! Not to mention the fact that she thinks she's a smushed-faced version of Paris Hilton! Did you see her using the hell out of her BlackBerry last night while everyone was at the sushi bar to celebrate HER birthday?! MANNERS, ASHLEY???

Finally, the highlight of the show, THE PARTY!! I cannot take Melissa AT ALL! She seems like the type of person who was probably working at Hooters, smelled Joe's money, then served him free chicken all night. She's just greedy. If they go bankrupt, please believe that she will not be sticking by Joe Gorga the way that Teresa is sticking by Joe Giudice. She will find another man with money and say, "THANK YOU, JESUS!" LMAO!! Oh, and why was she taking pictures on her own red carpet? It was a charity party...at her home. She wasn't nominated for an Oscar. Her sisters also look like they have always hated her growing up, but now are willing to be in her shadow because of her money and her being on the show. Did you see their "Beyonce's (Melissa) in the middle/Destiny's Child" poses? YUP! I'm right, and you know it.

Kathy is really in need of a reality check, as well. Why would she think that Teresa would accept her fake "It's really nice to see you." after they had been through all of that drama and had not seen or talked to each other in what I assume to have been weeks. Then, she goes to bitch to her husband who said "fuck" Joe and Teresa. Okay, I bet he wouldn't say that to either of their faces! LOL

ENTER KIM G.! That woman is seriously about as batshit as Danielle Staub was last season! Now, I see why they were "friends" for a while last season. Kim loves drama to an unhealthy degree. Where I'm from, if you bring the lawyer that's suing one of my family members to a family Christmas party, that's your ASS! You're just getting knocked out. No way around it! Kim needs to stop pressing her luck. If this group will fight at a christening, they probably have no problem throwing a jab at her. LOL! And the worst part about it is Kim brought Monica Chacon to the party and tried to give reasons to Joe and Melissa Gorga as to why they should let Monica stay, even if it bothers Teresa. WHAT?!?! How do you leave your home and tell someone that they should be inconvenienced in theirs?! THAT'S TERESA'S BROTHER'S HOME! Nothing about that seemed rude or wrong to Kim. It really is shocking to see people who are that unaware of themselves and how to treat others, yet they claim to have so much "class" since they have money.

Lastly, I'm happy that Joe Gorga did stick up for his sister by telling Monica that she had to leave his home. That's the way to be, in my opinion. However, Melissa, why apologize to Monica??? She's bringing drama into your home and is suing your sister-in-law! I thought family was so important to you. Obviously, it's not, so from this point on....I DECLARE YOU AS A FAKE, WASTE OF TIME! As for Jacqueline, I really love her for going to help them all with the situation. Even though I respect her, I think she is becoming somewhat of a doormat. Why are you interacting with the woman (Kim G.) who is hanging out with people who want to hurt your friends, going to courtrooms with people pressing charges against your daughter, and always bringing gossip and drama with them?? Jacqueline, let karma take it from here. You've done enough for these women!!

Let the church say "AMEN!".....AND....."Thank you, Jesus!" *sign of the cross, Melissa Gorga style!* : D

(Photo source: http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://politikasm.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/teresa-giudice-real-housewives.jpg&imgrefurl=http://politikasm.wordpress.com/2011/05/18/the-real-housewives-of-new-jersey-season-3-premiere/&usg=__SjMJoAOEBZlMm3SVX8etgviBM6I=&h=403&w=600&sz=46&hl=en&start=0&sig2=J51HiaVCstF6U1YdHZP5Fw&zoom=1&tbnid=10keBg3DMrL3PM:&tbnh=142&tbnw=206&ei=idkkTpudO4bf0QH32qDhCg&itbs=1&iact=rc&dur=282&page=1&ndsp=12&ved=1t:429,r:11,s:0&tx=71&ty=63)

It's Jesus' Birthday!

Hello, Hello, Hello, Beautiful Bleeple! It's time for a review on New Jersey's resident mob queens! This week's episode of the Real Housewives of New Jersey didn't disappoint.

We begin with Melissa who we left off with last week shmoozing with the Manzos and Lauritas...and her hubby dabbling in drag wear AGAIN. Maybe its me, but funny or not, I think I'd take issue with my man dying to get into women's clothing all the time. But, alas. Christmas time means Christmas parties. Thus, Melissa plans her $50,000 birthday party for Jesus. Just a guess but Jesus will probably never care about nutcrackers, carolers, or roly poly servers. The Gorgas invited the whole town so you know that's a recipe for trouble...

Meanwhile, the Manzos are still going on about Lauren and her brother troubles. Caroline decides that for Christmas she and her husband will do something special for the kids. They designed bracelets with circular grommets on them that represent each member of the family. Excuse me while I take a long walk off a short plank. The bracelets cost almost $5,000 each and everybody including mommy and daddy Manzo get one. I could think of far better ways to spend 25K including giving it to say Rupert Murdoch or Richard Scrushy who would undoubtedly be more responsible with the money. Ahhh well...

Jacqueline celebrated her daughter Ashley's birthday by giving her a nice gift. She also decided to share with her that her dad was going to come for a visit until he got sick and couldn't anymore. Cue the tears. We hear fodder about how Ashley is torn between two families yada yada. Later, the whole family enjoys a birthday dinner fit for well just about anybody at what appears to be your neighborhood Stix restaurant. It was more like CJ's birthday than Ashley's.

Theresa and Joe Guidice are up to their usual. Spending money they don't have, talking about other people, and pretending they don't have a care in the world...PS did anybody peep little Milania slap Audriana in the face under the Christmas tree?? iDied.

Kathy ,who normally serves as filler, actually provided some entertainment this week. Albeit she was the butt of most the jokes, she and her greasy husband catch a break from me this week on the filler subject. On the way to Melissa's Jesus bash, she and her husband are dicussing the idea of running into Theresa there. They're both all "we'll be bigger people" and "I'll just say hello" and "she's my cousin, I love her" on us. Fast forward to the party, Kathy follows Theresa to the point of stalking and then got mad when Theresa got smart with her. Stalk someone else and see if you don't get the same response... After this, Kathy's husband tells her privately that he'll burn the building down if she wants.... Whoa kimusabi, when did it get this deep?? Needless to say, Kathy is shut down once again, and surely next week will be back in filler position.

Melissa's party went underway complete with carolers AND a DJ. Also, I can't go on without mentioning that not only is Melissa giving a great party, she's giving back to kids too. Every guest has to bring a gift for the kids at St. Joseph's Hospital. **barf** All the guests were enjoying themselves...well at least those who showed up in decent enough time to enjoy it. Theresa and Joe showed up to their family's party 2 hours late. Classy. But, they showed up in time to be harassed about money they owe another guest AND see Kim G(ranny-taw) show up with none other than Monica Chacon (a new Tre nemesis). Chaos ensued as Joe and Melissa asked their unexpected guest Monica to please leave. Kim G went on about how they shouldn't have to leave. Finally, Monica left. Next week, we get to see how Jesus' birthday party ends.... Big Ups to Danielle Staub, who we don't miss at all with all this foolishness goin on. 'Til next week, Bleeps.

xoxo, Christina Rose

(Photo Source: http://www.bravotv.com/the-real-housewives-of-new-jersey/season-3/episode-9-twas-the-fight-before-christmas)

OHHH, CAHHHHHLAAAA, THE DINNER PAHHHHHTY!!!

Most hilarious "Mob Wives" parody yet!

Mob Wives with Sophia Bush & Drea de Matteo from Sophia Bush

What's Good 4 the Goose is Good 4 the Gander

So Bleeps, who's up for the new season on MTV's hit show Teen Mom?! Last week kicked off this season's shenanigans with boob jobs, late child support, and domestic disturbances. Maci, Catelynn, Amber, and Farrah are back at it.

Last week left me wondering where in the Hades do these girls get the money and/or the balls to do the things they do. If I'm not mistaken, they ALL have their own places...except Catelynn, who even sans baby, STILL has no monies. They all have cars. And, they all have the nerve to whine and cry about being broke. Psst: I heard MTV pays each of them upwards of $250K when they are done taping. Broke my ass. Sophia, Bentley, and Leah should have it made when they turn 18. Maybe they won't be as silly as their parents at that age.

As for this week's episode, I'll break it down like this:

Maci: Frankly, she can be a lil' stupid about men. Last year, she moved away from her entire support system to be with her boyfriend Kyle. He politely broke up with her soon after citing that "it felt lak u wuz n mah back pawket". Guess what?! He came a'runnin back and she accepted him with open arms. Now, she wants to move back home where her family is....but, she wants Special Needs aka Kyle with her. My prediction: Fail! Her family agrees. We all know she's gonna do it. So let's just see if I'm right.

Catelynn: Despite the fact that she and her baby daddy, Tyler, gave up their baby for adoption on 16 and Pregnant, they are still struggling. This week, they are attempting to find a place to live that costs basically nothing but is nice enough not to get robbed every day like Catelynn's current situation. Good luck with that. Meanwhile, Tyler's mom (never a real big Cate fan) hatches up a plan with his big sis to talk him out of it. But of course, this couple may look like the picture of failure, but whose got the MTV clout, money, and TV specials? You tuning in?

Amber: Move over, Obamas!! Here lies the couple of the year: Roseanne and Dan. They are lovingly dysfunctional. It seems the more screwed up her and Gary get, the more MTV airs that "Love is Respect dot org" commercial. Spare me. They don't even deserve a blip this week. *Cue Roseanne Music*

Farrah: Queen El Stupido reigns supreme. Remember last year when she tried selling her car on iTunes? Yah, me too. She listed the car, accepted payment by check, and then wired money to the buyer to ship her car. That worked out really well. At least for the buyer. Anyways, she's a model now--a regular Tyra Banks. Tyra makes her debut as a hair model in Denver. She doesn't play well with the other models though. Not surprised. Her halfbaked attempts at life junctures usually end up this way. The good news is Sophia is still as cute as ever. All Hail this self-absorbed Queen!

We'll see what happens next week!

xoxo, Christina Rose

Basketball Wives, Exes, Jumpoffs, Scallywags....

Well bloves, it's time to discuss Miami's finest. Shaunie O'Neal has done an excellent job of picking the messiest, pettiest, golddigginest heffas this side of the Atlantic. Evelyn, Jennifer, Royce, Suzie, Tammi, and Meeka bring the drama this season.

I will address Meeka Claxton first. I refer to her lovingly as "grease monkey" or "deep fried susta" , but honestly she really does remind me of Wesley Snipes' Too Wong Foo character Moxie ....I'm just sayin. She came in like a hurricane, already had her side chosen, and is dumb enough to come in guns blazin'. She's too greasy for words. Maybe I'll come back to her.

Royce defends her newest relationship with whoever this cat is she's dating now. I'll just say he is way better than that opportunistic little grub she was foolin' with last season. And forgive me for judging, but any man that can produce a fashion show and his name ain't Isaac Mizrahi or Michael Kors.....ok nevermind. Back to Royce...she is such a lost puppy--kind of like the one her newest boy toy bought her. Whatever she's talking about, she definitely gets cool points from me for getting with Evelyn win, lose, or draw style. Also, for future reference, mini golf is about as fun as getting your toes plucked.

Suzie aka Lilo N Stitch's big sister is being her usual self and trying to judge everyone else's life rather than live her own. Baby boo....that's why you ended up on the low end of the stick last year. She had the audacity to call Royce's BF thirsty. Really, Suzie?? I don't think Le Brontosaurus Rex needs to be talking about what anybody looks like.

Jennifer can be very 2D if you ask me. I mean it doesn't get more elementary school than to be worrying about the fact that your ex lives across the street. Who cares?! Certainly not his banana boat lipped lookin' ass. Thus, cut the crap and sign the friggin' paperwork. The divorce party situation? Only in times like these do you have bridal showers and divorce parties....Everybody celebrates everything. PS female strippers at your party, Jen? Skeeze much? Did you think about his stuff when you rode your ex-hubby's lips down the aisle? Ok ok, I'll simmer down.

As for Evelyn, leave it to her to find a gay sidekick (Noe) and be discussing how jealous everyone is of her fake relationship with Chad Ochosinkhole. Nobody is jealous of you Boo Boo! Your man can pick shoes better than you. He calls you fat and tells you regularly how bad you look. And Jen needs to remember that Evelyn made sure her relationship with Mr. Ed was over before conveniently getting engaged. She sets her friends up for the One Up. Anybody ever notice she NEVER has any customers in Dul-say or Dul-chea or whatever??

Head Honcho Shaunie sets up a trip to Italy...but then purposely leaves Royce. But you claim to be neutral though....not so much. Be Better Boo Boo. That's all I got.

I'm team Tammi all day. She is by far the realest of them all. She tells them skanks straight up how she feels and don't care what none of them think about it. If you can't tell, she and I hold the same regard (or lack thereof) for Meeka. She sniffed that parasite out immediately. And Tammi will kick an ass or two! I love how she called Meeka out for being so messy and always conveniently "forgetting" the things she says. Next week, we get to see the real deal on Jen and Evelyn's friendship. I've known all along that they weren't true friends, but Jen hasn't. Bloop Bloop!

xoxo, Christina Rose

(Photo Source: http://realitytea.realitytea.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/new-uploads/2011/05/basketball_wives_season_3.jpg)

Wake Up 'N Smell the Caw-fee!

Hi, Bleeple!! Christina here with the latest on everybody's favorite housewives (or at least for right now)! The Real Housewives of New Jersey are among the liveliest of the Andy Cohen franchise. From the table flipping to the family feuds, there is always something a'brewin. This season they've added some new faces to play with Caroline Manzo, Jacqueline Laurita, and Theresa Guidice (Jew-duh-chea??). These ladies, Melissa Gorga and Kathy Wakile, add something to the show. Just not sure exactly what that is. At least with Danielle Staub and Dina Manzo, ya knew what you were getting.

Melissa is the beautiful, sexy housewife with that all too exclusive talent of singing....well, thank God beauty is in the eye of the beholder. From where I'm standing, I behold Snooki a hundred pounds lighter yet Orange as ever. And as for her talent, I've heard homeless women on the DC metro sing better. This week she had a set of producers and music professionals visit her home to showcase her talent. They told her she was talented, but if looks could kill, their faces sentenced her "Display" chops to death. Meanwhile, her very supportive hubby Joe promised to build her a studio into his overly designed house as to give her what she wants while keeping her at home to care for his kids. Yeah, perhaps the property value of their house will serve as the consolation prize for the career she will NEVER have. On to the next....

Caroline's family is full of wackiness and whimsy. Christmas time with the Manzos couldn't be anything but....except for Lauren (Caroline's daughter) and all the complaining she's doing. She's jealous of how close her brothers have gotten. Isn't that only natural since they live together?? Whatever. Quit your whining! Caroline nipped that in the bud quickly.

We also got a rare glimpse at the corpse Bravo refers to as Kim G (also known as Kim Granny-tau). She gets a visit by our own Jacqueline who stops by for a visit and then tells Kim G to shut the f*** up the whole time she's there. And Kim G just takes it! Are you kidding me?? Sure, Kim G is full of drama and foolishness, but you DID go to her house....IJS. SN: Kim G is actually offended that someone called her old. Er, ok. That said, I must move on.

Over in the Laurita house, Jacqueline plans a family/friends Christmas shindig. She's invited everyone including Theresa AND Melissa. Everybody knows those two are always on the outs even when they aren't. Ashley (Jacqie's daughter) informed us that her mom is a drama whore who is constantly looking for drama to meddle in. I never got that vibe from Jacqie until now. Being friends with Danielle Staub wasn't a red flag for me....but trying to be cool with Melissa is. She is the queen of irritating. Blech....

And Theresa?? Of course she and juicy Joe showed up to the Laurita residence with jingle bells and whistles on...that translates into Versace furs and 4 inch Louboutins. She's the flyest bankruptcy candidate I've ever seen. What about you? Everybody I know that went into bankruptcy couldn't even afford skats from Wally World. But, what do I know anyway...She and her little husband talked on and on about their looming court case against someone whom they clearly owe money to. I'm sure there were many more, but these daring individuals had the nerve to demand theirs. In addition to money talk, there were also silent olympic games afoot between Tre and Melissa on who could be the loudest, crudest, most scantily dressed, and so on....I might say mean things about her, but in the end I'm Team Tre so obviously, Theresa wins gold!!

Kathy is what reality bloggers like myself would call a filler...thus, she gets only one comment. Actually, I think its Albert Manzo who deserves the credit for making Kathy relevant this week. He killed her dreams softly when he laughed in her face when she expressed interest in opening a restaurant. Classic!!!!

Until next time guys!

xoxo, Christina Rose

(Photo Source: http://cdn.inquisitr.com/wp-content/2011/04/The-Real-Housewives-Of-NJ-Season-3-500x374.jpg )

Just Another Night in Dirty Jersey!

I've really been enjoying "The Real Housewives of New Jersey" for the past two episodes! I was skeptical at first because it seemed like this season of the show was going to be called "Teresa and Family: Who Will Survive?" I'm glad that worry did not become reality, no pun intended.

One thing I will say about tonight's episode is it really opened my eyes to the family dynamics of every household. I like Jacqueline, but it was interesting to see her DAUGHTER (who is known to be trouble) tell Jac the truth: she does seem to take on the "peacemaker" role too often! I like Jacqueline's optimism, but I think I would just be there for my friend to vent to. I wouldn't want the drama to literally walk through my front door and take over my dinner table!

Also, Teresa, honey, you're bankrupt! It's not a good look to continue walking around in your Versace, chinchilla, and Louboutins. I mean, really?? I don't care how much money Skinny Italian might be bringing in, it's not enough to justify how you can still have that home and wardrobe. Yes, I'm saying I smell bullshit. I believe her and Joe are bankrupt, but I definitely think Teresa is too stubborn to realize bankruptcy has consequences, meaning you have to adjust your lifestyle because your debts won't magically fix themselves. I believe she thinks this period is a "shopping freeze" for her that will end in 7-10 years. Ah, to be delusional!

Caroline is pretty likable in this episode. However, she has some weird expectations when it comes to her children. She's taught them to make family their life, but then she expects it to be easy for them to go their separate ways in life. Of course, someone is going to be upset that someone has moved on and left the pack behind! Maybe it's just me, but I blame her daughter's separation anxiety from her brothers on the fact that they have been raised to be "thick as thieves", as Caroline said during the first season. Be close to your family, but know when to draw the line and go chase your own dreams/goals. That would be my advice to Lauren.

Kathy is a non-issue. Her husband is annoying, and if she believes that lavish, club-looking space would be good to make desserts in then she's crazier than I thought! Hookah? A belly dancer? Bitch, please! Make your cannolis and leave the rest alone!

Melissa, Melissa. Sweetie, you can't sing. You're not "on display". You just need to "go away, go away"! The two Black producers that came to her and Joe's home to hear her sing looked like they had been forced to be there! LOL! They honestly were moving around doing all they could to catch the beat, which really didn't exist. Oh, and why did they look like broke Ne-Yo's?? FAIL!! Joe needs to also realize that Melissa cannot stay in that house 24/7. Why not let her go to the studio?? Nothing's going to come of her career anyway! She has to be the only person in their mid-30s thinking they still have a realistic chance of being a pop star. So, go ahead, Joe, build that studio/telephone booth-like structure! The kids might be able to play hide and seek in it, if nothing else!

Finally, that dinner was funny and awkward. Joe Gorga is a funny guy. I don't think anyone would dispute that fact. However, I think Teresa was very jealous of the fact that everyone seemed to be enjoying her brother and sister-in-law's company. I'm pretty sure she was probably drunk by the time they left because she was giving that wine hell! LOL! But did Joe really have to put on that dress? At that point, I started to suspect that he was trying to be liked so much by everyone just to annoy Teresa. It was very over-the-top.

Wait, but in Dirty Jersey, everything is large and in charge! Forgetaboutit! (Yes, all one word!) : )

(photo: http://cdn2-b.examiner.com/sites/default/files/styles/image_full_width/hash/b0/6f/b06f702a64c1478463a4b32ac4bedd80.jpg)

"Mob Wives" Reunion

Hi, blogosphere! It's ya girl Lexi! Hope you all love the posts about some of your favorite reality shows that me and Christina plan to provide you with.

Well, that was a disappointing hour, to say the least! Maybe I'm a little jaded because I've watched and read virtually every interview these ladies have done. However, I will say the most entertaining part of the show had to be the issue of Carla's boyfriend. CARLA, WHY THE HELL WERE YOU EVEN DATING A GROPER?!?! THEN, YOU DEFEND HIM?! No, ma'am! No love for men who can't keep their hands to themselves, period!

Here's my breakdown:

Karen: I've liked Karen since the beginning of the show! Tonight reminded me of why that is: she has never changed her story since the beginning of the show. In other words, she's SUPER real! I love how she gets this look of "WTF?!" every time Drita opens her mouth about Lee. I think Lee is locked up, so the issue of him should be. I'm sure Karen would agree with that.

Renee: Renee, Renee. Without Renee, there would probably be no show. She's so emotional that it's hilarious! You gotta admit that she is a loyal friend if there ever was one, though! When she made up with Karen, she didn't backtrack. Instead, she kept moving forward and let their friendship blossom. That's how it should be. I love their friendship!

Carla: Who is she again????? ROTFLMAO!! I'm not discussing her. She lied to her kids for six years, has a son who needs Ritalin, and is Drita's shadow. NEXT!

Drita: At the beginning of the show, Drita and Karen were my favorites. I still like Drita, but not as much as Karen. Drita was so tough with her "I don't pull hair!" lines and bravado. But when she's tested, she DOES seem to pull hair! Also, it took one man to hold her back during the fight with Karen, and it took about eight to hold Karen back. At the reunion, Drita seemed bored. I can understand why. Her image isn't as strong as it was before, and she's also going through a divorce with a man she was sending cold cuts to in prison. Womp womp.

Anyway, on to season two!!

P.S. As for Wendy Williams, she failed to entertain tonight. Where's Perez Hilton when you need him?? LOL

(photo source: http://www.nypost.com/r/nypost/blogs/popwrap/201103/IMAGES/28/mob.jpg)

Bail, Jail, & Lobster Tails!

What it is, What it ain't, Blogworld!! Christina Rose here. I'm putting my stamp on the blogosphere. Kicking off my reality chops with the Mob Wives Reunion. I love how they are all trying to act so classy and put together. SN: Wendy Williams' s boobs are looking particularly ripe tonight! Watching this season, I learned many an important lesson about what its like to be Italian in America (s/o to Soledad O'brien). Apparently, respect is more valuable than gold OR those hideous furs these ladies have been rocking so comfortably. Also, when you find yourself at a loss for words just insert the F word for as many words as you are missing. Lastly, Black and Red are the colors of royalty. Don't get me wrong, I like the mob wives. But, I LOVE the way they make the Real Housewives of Atlanta look classy and tactful.

Drita "Bad Bitch" D'Avanzo has been with her boo (Karen "IDGAF" Gravano's ex or whatever) for 11 years....8 of which he has been incarcerated. C'mon guys. I do believe "fail" would be the appropriate word to describe this relationship. Needless to say, a divorce is now on the table b/c get this...he actually found time to cheat on her somewhere in there. Also, they say they wanna date normal guys. They also say normal guys wouldn't date them because of their mob affiliation. I believe Karen said "with my father being Sammy the Bull..." and muttered on about the perils of dating. Correct me if I'm wrong , but uh ain't yo daddy been behind bars like thutty years now? Trust me, dear. Ain't nobody checking for Sammy but cellmate 8792. Then, Carla "WhatEVAH" Facciolo drops the bomb on us all that her boyfriend, whom she got her toucous kicked for, is GONE! Hold the effin phone! Reliving that epic moment when she smashed Renee "Where's Junyah" Graziano in the face and got stomped off--I rolled and laughed and rolled. How are you STILL taking up for your douche bag ex who gropes your friends' body parts in front of you? My suggestion: swallow a shot a bleach. That should clear right up *insert kanye shrug*. Renee's response to the news, "Ya nothing but a filler, b***h!

As for the Karen-Drita drama, Lee D'Avanzo must be something like the best dick in Jersey. Where is Carmela Soprano or Caroline Manzo? We need the Mob Polizia to regulate this situation. It has spiraled out of control. Episode 1 they were buddies--Season Finale upper lips are being split. Karen is pushing this book on people like starving artists push their demo tapes for the lowski. I hope this ish is a best seller because its good for all the ass that's getting whooped over it. That's all I'm saying. The Soprano-esque foolery going on at that restaurant that day was truly epic. Don't you just love how Drita is all apologetic about it now?? I wonder if she ever mentioned that the only reason she called this meeting was to blow off steam about her cheating husband. Prolly not. Hmmm.....One thing is for sure, these wenches ate good....You's guys are the best TV! I don't know what we'll do for the next 6 to 8 months while we wait for more of this Italian goodness....oh yeah, Real Housewives of New Joyzee sounds like a nice way to start!

K guys, I hope I wasn't too much (or not enough) for you on my first go round. I'm warming up. Feel free to weigh in and let me know what you think. I'm up out this mug until the next Reality Star rattles my chain!

xoxo, Christina Rose

(Photo Source: http://www.vh1.com/)